"Here we go...hold on tight!"

My miracle

2011-07-14T14:48:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to stop by and say hello. I am alive and well. I am currently maintaining my weight at 130. I am in love with my new body and life. My health is still a struggle but I am managing the best I can. Foot surgery is over but still having nerve pain daily. Jaw surgery is healed and no pain or locking of the mouth. My MS is continuing to progress but I don't let it slow me down. Just spent 2 weeks in CA and 4 days camping at girls camp with my 12 year daughter.I wanted to share a miracle that happen to me while at camp.
I will try to not stay away so long in the future. I love you all and hope all is well with my blog family. Here's the video, enjoy!

SMILE!!!!

YEP it's that time again!

2011-01-24T11:07:00.000-08:00

It is official. I will be going under the knife on Feb 15th. This one REALLY REALLY worries me on so many levels. I have not got my weight in check with the whole maintaining thing. I am STILL losing which really pisses me off. And the TMJ surgery involves breaking both sides of my jaw re-mending them by wiring my mouth shut for 10 days followed by 6 weeks of rubber bands on the arch bars.

The surgeon said there will be a 15 to 20 pound weight loss while my mouth is recovering. Really can't afford to drop that much. Been trying to gain but have not had much success because of the jaw pain (my jaw locks making it impossible to eat anything not even liquids).

Since the 25 years of MS nerve damage my pain level is very low. So this surgery is very painful for normal people. Not looking forward to being in THAT much pain for so long either. Takes 6-8 MONTHS to recover!

Anyway I know the Lord only gives us trials we can handle. But I really think He has me confused with someone stronger sometimes.

I need ALL my friends to put me in their prayers. If your church or belief has some type of prayer chain I am asking if you could put me on it, please.

I will be taking pictures of my jaw hardware after so you can see how barbaric it looks...

Thinking errors

2011-01-12T07:44:00.000-08:00

I have a lot on my mind today. I have been thinking about this post for days now. So I am going to try to express my feelings.

This whole diet journey has really messed up my head with major thinking errors. Let me try to explain.

Yes I have lost 75 + pounds and I am very happy with my new size. (which is now a 8.) But now that I want to STOP losing I can't! I lost another 2.6 last month, UGH!

I noticed you can count my ribs, my chest is sinking in and my ankles are as tiny as the distance of your thumb touching your index finger. The doctor said I am NOT too thin yet, but I need to stop with the weight loss. If not for the extra skin I am carrying around I would be under weight. I really want to stop too. But how!?

I have stopped going to my WW meetings, as of this month, cause they are geared for people who WANT to lose. My leader advised me to just weigh in but not to stay for the meetings til I get some help. I feel like they got me into this mess and now they just kicked me to the curb!

I am very OCD and after a year of being programed to get "bravo's" and "at a girls" for losing; it makes it too hard for me to sit there and not want to join in, so hence I need to stay away from the meetings. (mind games.) They serve no purpose for me at this time of my weight loss journey. I am so grateful for them when I was trying to lose but not now.

Hard to understand I know but it is just how I have to deal with my disorder.

I started tracking again, after not doing so since last March, to see where my error lies for not being able to maintain. You see even though I AM NOT TRYING TO LOSE I still am. Which really scares me. I wanted to lose until I started to look too thin and that time is here or very close! My bottom BMI number is still a few numbers away but I think the extra skin is keeping me above that number. It is obvious that if I continue to lose it would not be healthy. I need to tone up now, if that is even possible with MS.

I have upped my points and am eating all my healthy foods (at least the ones I can eat, cause of my TMJ pain) I have started eating jars of baby food to get in my veggies...now that shows dedication...LOL

Anyway I am hoping that my thinking errors on what is good/bad foods doesn't harm my health. The doctor did lots of blood test and they are all normal. So go figure.

I just wish there were more support out there for those of us like me that are trying to transition to maintenance. The fear of eating higher calorie foods is REAL for me. I am scared I will go back to my old habits and weight:(

Also it's been just over a year of me allowing my self worth and getting my validations from losing weight. So another thinking error is "What is going to replace that void in my life?" I am currently researching my options in speaking to a Social Worker that deals with people like me.

But I have gained so much wisdom from my blog friends that I was hoping you could give me some FREE advise! So fire away!!! Thank you, SMILE!

What's next!

2010-12-28T09:05:00.000-08:00

First, I will start with happy news. The surgeon said I am healing better than he expected and has released me from the cast that held me driveless (both in exercise and car). And now I am able to walk with freedom. Yeah!

Second, Christmas had its moments. I have a wonderful family and the ones I got to share it with made it even better. I miss my boy who is still in prison more and more every year. I wanted to share the only picture of me taken at Christmas this year, not cause I didn't want my picture taken but, because I was the one taking all the shots. This is my brother who I love and adore very much.And of course there is a shot of me and my grand baby:Third, I got to meet another blog friend who was visiting UT from Oregon for the holidays. I just love meeting new people. If you have never met or read her blog I encourage you to. She is incredible. You can find Margene's blog here. Here is a photo of us with our better halves. I didn't feel very good this day so hence the bad hair.
And lastly, I continue to drop the pounds. I only have a couple more and I have hit the low end of my healthy BMI. I love the fact that I am looking good and finally am up on both of my feet walking again. I pray that 2011 will continue to bring me good health.

BUT, like I said there is a downside. boo hoo.

Because of all the side effects of my Trigeminal Neuralgia and my brain surgery. It has cause me to have an uneven bite in my jaw. Long story but can only use 1 side of my mouth. I now have TMJ; which hit right before the holidays. UGH!

If you have not heard of this before, it is quite painful and causes my jaw to lockup. The doctor has me on a soft food diet and lots of meds. I miss my fresh raw veggies and fruits and all the health foods that require chewing. I have turned to eating sugary creamy foods. YUK! Surprisingly I have not seen any change on the downward numbers with the scales. It is most likely credited to the fact I eat like a mouse taking in tiny bits of food a day. I hope I do not require further surgery to repair my jaw. See I told you WHAT'S NEXT!

All and all I am grateful to be alive and am looking forward to a new year, especially summer, wearing a size 8! Happy New Year!

Dropping by to say:

2010-12-20T08:34:00.000-08:00

I am still alive and doing well. Hope you all are having a Merry Christmas. Stay warm and safe. Love you all.

I feel over whelmed.

2010-11-29T08:42:00.000-08:00

HOLY CRAP! I have been away from blogging for awhile now. I thought I would check in and read a few today since I am SNOWED in. I HATE THE SNOW! But OMG there are way too many to read. Where do I begin? I think I will just NOT read any and pretend I am just starting over. So if you think I NEED to read something important that I missed you will have to comment here and tell me which one to track down.

My foot is healing slow but I am getting around better now. My MS is still bothering me. UGH! I am still going down on the pounds. Weighed last night and I was 136.9 down from 141 Nov 1st.

I am not going to go to my WW meetings cause I feel they are not helping me. Don't get me wrong I am still grateful that they are there. Just been going for a year now and I know what I need to do so if I am struggling or gaining I will hit my meetings. Until then I remain home. Plus I want to be in control of my final weight loss number not them. I will continue to lose until I feel I am done. I will not go past the healthy BMI guidelines though. So don't start in on the speech, like WW does every week. (hence the reason of me NOT going).

I dressed up in my UTAH UTE gear to go to our rivalry game last Saturday against BYU. We won at the last 3 seconds of the game...OMG it was about to give me a heart attack! Here's some pictures of me at the game:

It was VERY VERY cold at the game!

This is the new me!

It was hard to get the red off but the black washed off easy...LOLI had to get my boot involved in the spirit too.

My Hubby was not going to paint his whole face so he just did his go-tee..Chicken shit!

We flew to Notre Dame a couple of weeks ago to attend the Utes playing the Fighting Irish. We lost that game But the stadium & campus was beautiful. I still had a great time minus the 3 hours during the WET, COLD SAD game! I was a frozen Ute fan at that game:(Waiting at the hotel lobby for my brother before the game.

The tail gate party before the game. Resting my foot which is wrapped with ice.

The huge stadium.

Need I say anymore!

I didn't have my family with me during Thanksgiving so it was kind of depressing. I ate very wisely and lost in the process. Life is good. I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and now let's bring on Christmas!

SMILE!

Shout it from the mountain tops!

2010-11-05T09:30:00.000-07:00

After a very long a stressful month, the doctors gave me the OK to put some weight on my foot. Just have to be super careful and use the aide of the knee walker and wheelchair when needed.

I am a WALKING FOOL NOW!

Like if that wasn't exciting enough, I also went to my WW meeting last night too. I was concerned about my weigh in since I have not been mobile for the last 4 weeks. And unable to go weigh in.

Well the scales were very nice to me. I lost 6.8 pounds during those 4 weeks.

INCREDIBLE!

Just goes to show ya that you can lose weight without exercise. I am so disciplined in what I eat, so I am convinced that is the secret to my success.

I love being thin and only wished I had done this years ago. I love the way my clothes fit, and that I can wear anything I see in the stores. I even have noticed people treat me different now that I am smaller. (they are nicer). Go figure!

Getting excited for the BIG football game Saturday. I bought a black wig to wear since it is going to be a BLACKOUT game against TCU. I can't wait to go and cheer on my mighty UTAH UTES! We are still un-defeated so I am a little nervous about this one. We beat TCU in 2008 so I know it can be done. And who knew that we would beat Alabama in the Sugar Bowl, not Alabama that's for sure! LOL

I will post pictures of how silly I look at the game. Until then I AM SMILING BIG!

Stupid pants!

2010-10-28T14:03:00.000-07:00

My jeans are too big AGAIN...UGH! I went to the store with my mom today. It was good to get out of the house for a minute. Anyway I saw some way cute junior designer jeans that I loved. So I got 2 pair in a size 11. (my junior 13's were the ones that were too big). I did not want to go through the dressing room and have to take my boot/cast off. So I took them home to try them on.

OMG they were so freakin cute on me. They fit so perfect. THEN I looked down and I saw they were two inches too short. ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME! I guess the smaller the size the shorter the inseam. DAMN I was so PISSED! Don't they know it is NOT easy for me to go shopping with this hurt foot? And I need a pair of pants to wear to the Halloween party tonight.

Guess who is going to be wearing baggy butt jeans being held up with a belt? Hope they don't think I am wearing a hobo costume. LOL

P. S. As I was leaving the store we went past the MISSES department and I compared the size 11 junior jeans with the Misses size 8. I started too scream with excitement cause they were the same in the hips (they were low waist jeans) and seemed to have a roomer butt though. I am not sure if I need a roomer jean in that area but HEY they were a size 8! I would have got them but they weren't as cute as the 2 I already had in the cart. Maybe next time, they might even be longer in the inseam too.

So I think I can wear a size 8 blog world!

I am SO NOT done!

2010-10-25T10:25:00.000-07:00

Here's some background info: I started WW last Oct. I weighed 211 pounds wearing a size 22 and a 2X shirt. I have never been small and this was/is my 1st attempt to lose weight. I am not addicted to food nor do I eat from emotions. My error was I didn't eat enough. Go ahead start throwing the dishes at me. Sorry I am a different person then the rest of my friends but don't get me wrong I still feel your pain and what I have to do is NOT easy for me either.

I have changed my goal weight loss several times over this past year, which has caused my WW leader to just shake her head at me. I thought I would be happy at 150 then I got there and saw I could lose more still. So I thought 140 would be good. Now I want to get to a size smaller than my size 10 jeans. I look at myself and I can see areas that could still handle being smaller. YES I WILL GET TO THE POINT OF BEING HAPPY WITH MY SIZE! Just not quite yet.

I weighed myself this morning and I am 139.1, which is below what WW had as my low end weight of 140. So I called the main office and was told I can go as low as 128 but that's as far as they want me to go. OH I can do that. I seriously don't think I will EVER get that thin nor do I want to.

On a different note. My foot is SLOOWLY healing. Still no weight baring. But it sure makes me happy that I am not trying to drag that OLD 210 pound body up on 1 leg. 10 more days til I go and see the surgeon. I hope he gives me the green light to start walking. My incision looks GREAT too. All & all I am doing ok. I have had a few falls but I have managed to save the foot.LOL

Life is good! Size 8 here I come!!

PLEASE READ AND FORWARD!!!

2010-10-25T08:19:00.000-07:00

A Must Read for All
EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ ALL OF THIS and HAVE CHILDREN READ IT TOO!

After tossing her books on the sofa, she decided to grab a snack and get on-line.. She logged on under her screen name ByAngel213. She checked her Buddy List and saw GoTo123 was on. She sent him an instant message:

ByAngel213:
Hi. I'm glad you are on! I thought someone was following me home today. It was really weird!

GoTo123:
LOL You watch too much TV. Why would someone be following you? Don't you live in a safe neighborhood?
ByAngel213:
Of course I do. LOL I guess it was my imagination cuz' I didn't see anybody when I looked out.

GoTo123:
Unless you gave your name out on-line. You haven't done that have you?

ByAngel213:
Of course not. I'm not stupid you know.

GoTo123:
Did you have a softball game after school today?

ByAngel213:
Yes, and we won!!

GoTo123:
That's great! Who did you play?

ByAngel213:
We played the Hornets. LOL. Their uniforms are so gross! They look like bees. LOL

GoTo123:
What is your team called?

ByAngel213:
We are the Canton Cats. We have tiger paws on our uniforms. They are really cool.

GoTo123:
Did you pitch?

ByAngel213:
No, I play second base. I got to go. My homework has to be done before my parents get home. I don't want them mad at me. Bye!

GoTo123:
Catch you later. Bye

Meanwhile, GoTo123 went to the member menu and began to search for her profile. When it came up, he highlighted it and printed it out. He took out a pen and began to write down what he knew about Angel so far.

Her name: Shannon
Birthday: Jan. 3, 1985
Age: 13
State where she lived: North Carolina

Hobbies: softball, chorus, skating and going to the mall. Besides this information, he knew she lived in Canton because she had just told him. He knew she stayed by herself until 6:30 p.m. every afternoon until her parents came home from work. He knew she played softball on Thursday afternoons on the school team, and the team was named the Canton Cats. Her favorite number 7 was printed on her jersey. He knew she was in the eighth grade at the Canton Junior High School . She had told him all this in the conversations they had on- line. He had enough information to find her now.

Shannon didn't tell her parents about the incident on the way home from the ballpark that day. She didn't want them to make a scene and stop her from walking home from the softball games. Parents were always overreacting and hers were the worst. It made her wish she was not an only child. Maybe if she had brothers and sisters, her parents wouldn't be so overprotective.

By Thursday, Shannon had forgotten about the footsteps following her.

Her game was in full swing when suddenly she felt someone staring at her. It was then that the memory came back. She glanced up from her second base position to see a man watching her closely.

He was leaning against the fence behind first base and he smiled when she looked at him. He didn't look scary and she quickly dismissed the sudden fear she had felt.

After the game, he sat on a bleacher while she talked to the coach. She noticed his smile once again as she walked past him. He nodded and she smiled back. He notice d her name on the back of her shirt. He knew he had found her.

Quietly, he walked a safe distance behind her. It was only a few blocks to Shannon 's home, and once he saw where she lived he quickly returned to the park to get his car.

Now he had to wait. He decided to get a bite to eat until the time came to go to Shannon 's house. He drove to a fast food restaurant and sat there until time to make his move.

Shannon was in her room later that evening when she heard voices in the living room.

"Shannon, come here," her father called.. He sounded upset and she couldn't imagine why. She went into the room to see the man from the ballpark sitting on the sofa.

"Sit down," her father began,"this man has just told us a most interesting story about you."

Shannon sat back. How could he tell her parent s anything? She had never seen him before today!

"Do you know who I am, Shannon ?" the man asked..

"No," Shannon answered.

"I am a police officer and your online friend, GoTo123."

Shannon was stunned. "That's impossible! GoTo123 is a kid my age! He's 14. And he lives in Michigan !"

The man smiled. "I know I told you all that, but it wasn't true. You see, Shannon , there are people on-line who pretend to be kids; I was one of them. But while others do it to injure kids and hurt them, I belong to a group of parents who do it to protect kids from predators. I came here to find you to teach you how dangerous it is to talk to people on-line. You told me enough about yourself t o make it easy for me to find you. You named the school you went to, the name of your ball team and the position you played. The number and name on your jersey just made finding you a breeze."

Shannon was stunned. "You mean you don't live in Michigan ?"

He laughed. "No, I live in Raleigh . It made you feel safe to think I was so far away, didn't it?"

She nodded.

"I had a friend whose daughter was like you. Only she wasn't as lucky. The guy found her and murdered her while she was home alone. Kids are taught not to tell anyone when they are alone, yet they do it all the time on-line. The wrong people trick you into giving out information a little here and there on-line. Before you know it, you have told them enough for them to find you without even realizing you have done it. I hope you've learned a lesson f rom this and won't do it again. Tell others about this so they will be safe too?"

"It's a promise!"

That night Shannon and her Dad and Mom thanked God for protecting Shannon from what could have been a tragic situation.

*****NOW****

EVEN FORWARD THIS TO PEOPLE WITHOUT KIDS SO THEY CAN SEND IT TO FRIENDS THAT DO HAVE CHILDREN OR GRANDCHILDREN.

:( & :)

2010-10-20T13:38:00.000-07:00

There has been so much going on with my foot. But to make a long story short I have to do another 2 weeks of no weight baring. The stitches are out, the incision looks good. The bruising is ugly but will fade.

I can now shower which I did and loved it. They said I could put a little weight on it yesterday and when I did a huge electrical shock went up my leg. So I call the doctor to find out if that was normal or my MS acting up?

Dr just called and said the electrical shock is coming from the nerve. And that means IT IS NOT HEALED ENOUGH YET. So no weight baring for 2 more weeks.

Patience is not my strong point. But I will do as I am told:)

On a more happier note I stepped oh so very lightly on the scales this morning and I am down 3 pounds since Oct. 1st. So even with all the meals being brought in my home I still ate wisely enough to loss. 4 more and I am done. Maybe by Christmas.

What an exciting year this has been. Thanks for holding on tight with me on my wild and crazy journey. smile.

Update

2010-10-16T10:09:00.000-07:00

2 more days of neighborhood meals! Don't get me wrong I have appreciated them. BUT OMG the desserts ARE KILLING me! I have only tasted them which only makes me wish I could have MORE! SO YUMMY!!! So see how I can be excited to have them OVER????

So I mustered up the strength to hop on the scales this morning. YEP! I am up .9 but I am soooo happy with that seeings how I am laid up, depressed, in pain and not eating my NORMAL foods.

Just an update on my well being.

I am ALIVE!

Going to my follow up post op appt this Tuesday:)

The unveiling!

2010-10-09T15:32:00.001-07:00

TODAY IS THE DAY I GET TO TAKE THE BANDAGE OFF.

I am nervous about this because I haven't got to see it yet and fear I won't be able to get the bandage back on right, So here it goes. I still am not going to be able to put any weight on it for 10 more days or so and I still have to wear/sleep in the cast/boot:(Oh the anxiety of not knowing whats under the cast! Notice the lack of a SMILE!The cast is off now for the bandage. "Is THAT blood I see?"
The sneak peak...And I was told it was only going to be 3 centimeters. YEAH RIGHT!!!So Kayla couldn't find any COLD ice packs. My friend Brook grabbed a frozen bag of peas to put on it. IT WORKED!
Now I understand why it hurts. Look at all the bruising:(

Surgery update

2010-10-04T21:15:00.000-07:00

My surgery went well. I have a new extension to my leg that I can not take off AT ALL for 5 days. This should be interesting to sleep with. It has an inflatable section that keeps it from moving around on my skinny shin. They put this on to help with my balance. I can use it ONLY as a balance check if I feel like I am tipping a little. This extra support will help just in case I land on it during the no weigh baring time. I have a 30 hour nerve block in my lower leg/foot. So I am just experiencing the tingling from it being numb, which is better than the pain. I will be in lot of pain after it wears off so I have some good drugs.

But On a BAD note I fell today AGAIN (not on my foot this time). But I ended up cracking a rib. I am having a lot of pain from that which makes up for the lack of foot pain. The Dr can't do anything for my rib but ice/heat and IB-800's.

Getting around with a cracked rib and a hurt foot is NO FUN!!! I am a fighter and I will not let this bring me down. I am so excited with the outcome of the surgery. The surgeon told Clay that he thinks I should get total relief after the 6 months of recovery.

The best part of the whole day was when I got on the scales at the hospital and I saw 143. Only 3 more pounds to reach my goal weight. Saturdays weigh in read 147 so I like this one better...LOL

I won't be blogging as much during my recovery cause the pain pills make me sleepy and my ribs need to rest. Just know even though I won't be reading your blog as often DOESN'T mean I am not thinking of you. SMILE!!

Challenges.

2010-10-02T12:36:00.000-07:00

Well the day is approaching. 6:30 Monday morning will be the time & day.

On a different note. In order not the have to pay for my WW meeting I have to weigh in any day of the first week of every month. Knowing I wont be able to go the whole month of Oct I had Clay drive me to the weigh in this morning. I have been under ALOT of stress this week (I am not an emotional eater I just DON'T eat when I am stressed). I am very nervous about my recovery. MS really does mess up a person and their ability to balance on 1 foot. Crutches are OUT so I went and bought a knee walker last week. I have been practicing as if I had already had the surgery. Most of the time I did quite well. But there have been a few times that I have fallen and of course I landed on my bad foot. It only takes one time and the surgery results will be destroyed. Hence the STRESS. This is my new knee walker. I also will be relying on the use of my electric wheelchair.So back to the weigh in. I was lucky that my husband took me cause I needed the extra moral support. I didn't stay for the meeting, cause the pain is at a point that I need to have ice and elevation all the time now. This photo sums up my morning:YEP! I gained just as I thought. 1.6 pounds. The BIGGEST weight gain thus far. I cried right there in front of the workers and my man. He quickly told me in his soft but caring way to "Stop it." He is right. He also said he will be putting our home scale up for the month so I don't try to hurt myself trying to stand on it. I agreed cause knowing me "If there is a will. I will find a way."

I am very nervous not knowing for weeks where my weight is. It could be very dangerous. I will have to wear sweat pants for quick access to go potty. So I can't tell by my pants. OMG I am scared and nervous!

The STRESS, the NOT KNOWING, the neighborhood FOOD choices for meals, the added PAIN, etc..., All TOO MUCH for me to take.

PLEASE! PLEASE! PRAY FOR ME!!!

Hold on Tight...

2010-09-28T14:24:00.000-07:00

I am struggling with my weight this week. Not sure what's going on. I have been on track 99 % of the week. I went to a football game Saturday where I ate off track once but not horribly. I got on the scales and the last two days I show a gain of 2 pounds. Which for me is BIG. I hope it wasn't that silly piece of pizza I ate at the game. More than likely it is the lack of exercise I am getting due to my foot.

So I got on the bike this morning and rode 15 minutes. Man I am out of shape. I was up to 17 miles before my injury now it was a strain to do 3 miles. I know I am pushing myself but I have to. I don't want to get too comfortable in not exercising and revert back to the old me. It's like not going to church week after week. Pretty soon you go inactive.

Riding the bike today was hard and a little painful but necessary I thought. Just don't want to cause more pain to my already injured foot. So I stopped when it no longer was comfortable.

Surgery is this Monday. Recovery is scaring me with the possibilities of extra food being bought into the home from caring neighbors. That's what our church members are famous for, service. They are planning to have meals brought in for 2 weeks. (which includes desserts)

I will need some extra will power the next few weeks. For me it's easy to stay on track when the temptation is not there. My family is so good that way. When they want something, like a dessert, they do it out of my view. I love them for that.

The recovery involves a lot of sitting with my foot in the air. Now that Clay has my computer hooked to my big screen TV I can read my blogs and do my facebook. I was fearing the withdrawal symptoms not having access to my computer for those weeks. Hubby came through with a great plan. Life is good there!

I am NOT going to use this time as an excuse to cave and say the hell with it. I have come way too far for that. I will be utilizing a great deal of will power and support from my blogs and family.

Until then pray for my surgeon, a speedy recovery and the extra strength I need to stay on plan.

The best concert thus far!

2010-09-25T11:46:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to start out by saying OH MY GOODNESS!!! Can Brad put on a show!!! The visual technology that he had blew my mind! Never have I seen such a techie concert as his! If you love country music and every get a chance to see him, I STRONGLY recommend you do. Money well spent!

As must of my followers know I bought a Mega Concert ticket package at the beginning of the summer. Well this was the closing show of the season. Brad Paisley's Water Tour was the BOMB!!!

We started the day out at a smaller stage that would be featuring 3 lesser known, but still on the radio, singers. The gates opened before Clay got off from work, so he met me there when the big acts started later that night. I took my girlfriend, Brook, who had not been to a concert in many years. So I was so happy to see her excitement to be at the show. Clay arrived with my dearest best friend and her husband. Camille & Erik had not heard Brad's music before, but were more than happy to spend the evening with us. Now that's a TRUE friend!

I hope you enjoy just a few of the shots I took of my exciting day.

Josh Thompson.

Oh yeah at the smaller stage we were on the front row. Brook had never been so close to a singer. It was so cute.
Brook made sure that NO BODY even came close to my foot or dare stand in front of me either. What a sweetie!

Easton Corbin

Steel Magnolia

They are a husband and wife team. So cute to see them sing together.

Justin Moore

Justin was a great opening act for the big stage performers. He has several hit songs and he played them all.

Darius Rucker

And you all know who this is right? Brad Baby!!!

Brad has been playing the guitar since he was 8. He can really jam with the best of them too.

BUTT shot....Oh La La!

This cute puppet was part of his show. While he was singing "Celebrity" a video was playing on the huge HD screen behind his stage. This was the puppet in the video that played Brad. After the end of the song he had the puppet come out to greet the fans.
Now for this photo. The camera is NOT zoomed. I was like 2 feet from him as he made his way through the crowd. If I hadn't been trying to get a picture I could have grabbed his butt.
The only thing separating me from Brad was a railing and a bunch of security guards. I screamed so loud that I know he heard me. Way cool.The reason he was walking right by me was that he was going to a small platform in the middle of the arena. He sang a few songs but mostly talked to the crowd. He said when he was younger he could never afford the seats close to the stage. He made a promise to himself, that if he ever made it big he would perform a few songs to the people in the cheap seats. What a sweet guy.

It would not surprise me to see him someday excepting the Entertainer of the Year award. He has my vote!

My meeting

2010-09-24T08:06:00.000-07:00

I talked to my leader last night about the issue of the rude blog comment. She does not think it was from any one that STILL comes to the meeting. You see there have been a couple (1 mainly) that no longer goes to WW but had been coming long enough to know how I am doing the program. They left the meeting several weeks very upset with the fact that others (like me) were losing and they weren't. She mention said person might be the 1 who left it and I had that person cross my mind too. But at this point I could care less what she thinks.

If you are reading this said person guess what???

I LOST ANOTHER 1.2 POUNDS!! And those diet pills rock!...LOL

Water under the bridge. Only have 4.6 pounds to lose before I HAVE to stop losing and start maintaining.

Maintaining scares me a little but I think I will be able to do it. Scary, that I fear I wont stop losing and my body will not know how to just stay at this size. I don't fear of me gaining. Cause that is just NOT an option for me.

I love the foods I have been eating and I am never starving so to eat more just scares me. Did I mention I AM NOT NORMAL??

I will have a few more weeks to adjust my lifestyle and learn how to add more calories in my diet. Until then I will be focusing on getting my foot operated on and the long recovery. Only a week away now.

Going to see Brad Paisley tonight. No jumping for me..BooHoo!

a million THANKS!

2010-09-23T11:19:00.000-07:00

I am so touched that words can no longer express my feelings. I had no idea that the blog world was so supportive.

Yes I have received countless comments of encouragement since I started this blog. And I have made several very very special friends, that would not have occurred any other way.

But when you write something as sad and hurtful to me as someone did, read here if you missed it, the true meaning of support comes out.

I want to thank EVERY one that took the time from their busy lives and wrote words of kindness on my behalf. I tried to go to each and everybody's blog to personally thank you. But if I miss you please expect it now.

I just noticed as of today I have 100 followers. I am speechless. I owe most of it to a newly found blogger, that I am honored to call my newest friend. Thank you Allan for your kindness, thoughtfulness and your love of blogging, to send me so many of your followers. They offered many supportive words of kindness to me in a time of need. Posting my story on your blog was very special and you will never know how much it meant to this broken heart. For you, THANK YOU! I only hope I can pay it forward.

I feel so much better today and it's ALL because of the kindness that I got from you all. I have decided that it is not worth the time or energy to dwell ONE more minute on this lonely, jealous coward that doesn't know their ass from a hole in the ground. (sorry I swore..sue me).

Going to my WW meeting tonight with my HEAD HELD HIGH!!! I know I am a great person who has accomplished many wonderful things in my life and will continue to do so.

So again I can not express the love I felt from my blogging pals yesterday. Hugs and kisses to you all.

idoits!

2010-09-22T05:45:00.000-07:00

After a very long sleepless night, I decided I have to blog about this.

So right before I went to bed I checked my e-mail and found 1 that someone had left a comment on my Key to Success post. This is what "anonymous" wrote:

"How can you say WW is the program for you when you don't even follow it. You don't eat all the points, you don't even track so how can you say it is for you when you aren't following it. I'd love to know what diet pills you've been taking this whole time because it is obvious that is what you've been doing!"

Whoever it was was too chicken to log in as them so I don't know who it was. When I read it I was sad, hurt and mad so I went to my blog and removed the comment.

I felt the need to set the record straight. Hence this post. I hope none of you have had to experience rude and hurtful comments. It really is not fun. Now I find it humorous because if I was only taking diet pills I sure in the heck wouldn't be exercising and then my foot would not be injured. I sure would not have been spending $40.00 a month for the last 10 months to a program that I wasn't following. My family would be eating junk food and I would have attended more social gatherings where I could have indulged in the unhealthy foods that were there. I have missed out on a lot of things for taking those diet pills.

Here is some background about me and my dieting. All my life I have had weight issues. When I was 25 I was struck with MS and my self esteem went even lower. Not able to do much and having the MS tell me what I can and can't do was very hard for me to except. I have control issue. So with WW I have regained my control back by controlling the foods I eat.

My neighbor was going to WW and I wanted to go check it out so I went with her. I was impressed with their program and even though I was not able to exercise at the time I wanted to see if only changing my food choices would allow me to lose.

I found a lot of great information out about myself in the meetings. I knew I did not have the normal eating problems that the other members were talking about. As the doctors have told me over the years I have a big problem with my metabolism working properly. It took years for them to get the right amount of medication to stay in my body (blood stream) long enough to be effective.

The reason I say this is because for a normal dieter the points that WW have set for you are healthy. But for me I had to adjust them in order to lose weight. For me I only needed a small amount of points. It may be from the lack of any exercise or movement too. So yes I DO NOT eat the number of points that the program ask. But if I did I would have been gaining not losing. It took several weeks before I got to the right # of points for me.

As far as tracking goes. Oh I tracked religiously for the first 7 months. I could see a pattern with my day to day eating so I though I really didn't need to be a slave to a tracker. I had gotten in the habit of eating and knowing the low point foods. I was very strict and mainly ate only 1 or 2 point foods in the day.

So I did a test back in March to see if not tracking would mess me up. I did it and am still doing it. I have a brain and I keep a mental tab of my points through out the day. Again I am not saying that this will work for every one. But it is working for me.

I have not missed any of my meetings, binged or even fell off the wagon for a year now. I have exercised to the point of hurting myself and in spite of my physical challenges I continue to exercise.

This is my new life and I love it and LIVE it! Any NO NO NO I am NOT taking any thing other then my prescribed medication. So I am sorry if there are those out there that are struggling and feel the need to lash out on me and my success in hopes to make themselves feel better.

I know that I am doing this without pills and my REAL friends know it too. So to all those others that think otherwise. You can KISS my BUTT!

Keep your jealous self off my blog. I have set my blog to only allow registered bloggers to leave comments now. No more chicken shit comments. This is all about accountability right? So be accountable to your comments.

Thinking I may speak up at my meeting to set this person, who ever it is, straight. I am 99% sure they are in my meeting. It is just not my style to let it go. Should I say something or have my leader say something?

I am very out spoken and confrontational. But I can be very caring, loving and understanding too. I am so confused on what to do.

I will be back...

2010-09-19T21:04:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to thank my readers for your kind words and to update you. You might have noticed I haven't been around lately. I am experiencing a lot of pain in my foot when I sit at the computer. So not having a laptop, it makes it almost impossible to blog. I (my family) will be checking in once a week for the next few months. I will have them read me your blog. Not sure if I can get them to comment for me though:(

I will miss you and hopefully I can figure out a way to blog soon.

Until then I WILL BE THINKING OF YOU.

Surgery is coming up on OCT 4th. Then a VERY long and painful recovery.

The Key to My Success.

2010-09-17T06:46:00.001-07:00

I made it!!!

The Key to My Success Award. I am now a free WW lifetime member!

My WW leader Kris at the meeting

My number 1 supporter!

Just a handful of my supporting friends & family that came to see me get my award.

This was a GREAT night for me. I have been waiting for this day for a long time. I lost 2.6 pounds this week and plan on continuing til I reach the low end of the BMI chart. So 6 more, then I will STOP. My total loss at the time of my lifetime award is 64.8. I still can't believe this is ME. I know I have a lot of adjustments to do mentally now but I can do that too.

WW IS the program for me!!!

I know I could not have done this without a supportive family and such awesome friends. I spoke highly of my blog followers at the meeting after I was presented the charm. I told the class that "if they haven't already and have the time, they need to start a blog and get all the support you can. Cause without that it would not have been as easy to get to this point." So THANK YOU ALL!

Life is GREAT, JUST KEEP SWIMMING!!!

Small steps make BIG results!
Never GIVE UP!!!

Who Knew????

2010-09-15T14:17:00.000-07:00

Well I checked my body fat today . The last time I checked it was 4 months ago. I have been noticing that the hanging skin in the inside of my thighs was getting smaller. So I was hoping that the pool exercises had something to do with that. I wanted to see if I was building muscle so hence the body fat check.

Well can I have a DRUM ROLL please?

Here's some background to set the stage. 4 months ago: I was really not happy that even at the smaller size I was still in the last category OBESE, so I didn't want to check it every month. Too depressing. ((sniff)) I thought with all the exercises I should have a change in the %. So I checked today.

I am DOWN 5% since the last time.

But what I find even funnier is I am STILL considered OVER WEIGHT but just by 1%...LOL Well at least I am no longer Obese.. I'll take it. Here's the chart I found that I used.

I KNOW its only a number on a chart and I should only focus on HOW I feel but just saying...((with a BIG smile)) Who knew that I could gain muscle being in a wheelchair with MS???

NOT ME, THAT'S FOR SURE! Until now!

Bubble wrap anyone?

2010-09-13T18:11:00.001-07:00

NO I HAVE NOT HAD SURGERY YET!

Actually this is a little wrap in comparison to Saturday's. I know its a long post, so you don't have to read it. Just another day in my crazy life!
Ok here's the ugly story. Besides the fact that I have been dealing with this foot since May. I injured it even more Saturday at the football game.

It was a very hot day at the game and I needed some ice for my foot so Clay went and got me a cup of ice and I put it in a Ziplock baggie. I wanted to be able to use my hands as our team was making some killer moves. So I was wondering if 1st aid would have something to help hold the baggie on.

At 1/2 time Clay went to get more ice which was at the opposite end of the stadium as I attempted to get out of the sun. As I was in the hallway I thought I would just go to get that wrap. That's where the DRAMA began!

The stadium holds 45,000 crazy UTE fans. And I think they were ALL in that hallway trying to get out of the sun, go potty, and get something to eat, etc. Once I was in the crowd (I was in my electric wheelchair), I was stuck! I had to continue to go all the way to the other end of the stadium to the 1st aid room. No turning back now.

I had my bad foot across my knee (lap) with the melting ice baggie on it. The crowd was not very interested that I wanted to get past, until a few loud mouth guys started yelling for then to MOVE! I was a bit embarrassed but thankful at the same time. Just when I thought I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. (pardon the pun) A REALLY drunk man lost his balance and fell in my lap pushing my bad foot backward with his hand as he tried to catch himself. He ended up IN my lap. I screamed like I had been shot by a gun and immediately started crying hard.

The kids that were assisting me through the crowd were like "What did you do to her." As a normal reflex, I punched him as hard as I could in the middle of his back and screamed for him to get the HELL off me! He was so out of it I am sure he never even felt it but I bet the next morning he was like "Hey where did this BIG bruise in the middle of my back come from?" The kids were laughing at the fact that I just kicked his butt and I was the one injured...LOL

To make a long story short I had the cops come to my aide. See as the crowd was yelling for the boneheads to move so I could get by, the cops thought they were fighting. So the police got me to the 1st aid room. Funny how fast people move when they see a police officer with their clubs and guns.

I spent the next 30 minutes being seen by the paramedics and then I returned back to my seat. Clay saw the HUGE ice packs and wrap on my foot that the 1st aid did for me and was like "What the heck happened? I can't take you anywhere." I told him the whole ugly story and he felt bad that I was hurt but never even considered if I needed to leave the game. I know how much the games mean to him so I toughed it out and never complained. I stayed the second half in my chair not able to jump but I cheered like mad. Our team won and took the record in our conference for the most consecutive home game wins! 19 WOW!!!

Was it worth it? Well not really, but I am glad that I got to see my team beat the record. Now that's some team spirit there!

I just hope there isn't new damage that will jam up my surgery in 3 weeks. Hence the big foot wrap. Trying to get it better. The one at the game was like 2 times this size. It was over kill! It doesn't make a very pretty shoe with a skirt either. Church was interesting...

It does feel a little better today and I was able to go to the gym this morning; where I swam 1/2 mile and did my 500 leg/tummy crunches. It felt good to get back in the water.

Clay thinks I should not be allowed to leave the house without being fully covered in bubble wrap. What do you think?

FYI

2010-09-12T17:24:00.000-07:00

My WW leader did a post about me on her blog. It is a tribute for reaching my goal weight. Here is a link to her post about me. It's just a couple before and after photos. Its short and sweet.
Thank you Kris.

alan jackson- Where were you september 11th

2010-09-11T07:02:00.000-07:00

I love this video and I love Alan too. This is for the ones who lost their loved ones 9 years ago today. You are missed and loved!

Weigh In

2010-09-09T17:52:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, I have been under the weather. I have still been forcing myself to go to water aerobics 3 days a week. Yesterday I did 1 hour of aerobics, where we jogged a mile, then stayed and swam (snorkel & mask) 2000 feet and did 300 stomach crunches. Not sure but I think that the aerobics has actually made the pain worse. Swimming and crunches don't hurt but the class exercises do. I think the water resistance on my foot is too much and I am feeling it in the evenings. OUCH! Surgery is still on the schedule for Oct 4th. My good foot is getting better:)

Anyway, that's not what this post is about. I had a really hard time with STRESS at my weigh in's, til I changed my goal weight magic number. So after I met the number, I thought I would have less stress. WRONG! Now every Thursday night I try to find the lightest weighing clothes to wear. I still want to loss another 10 pounds below my WW goal weight. I have even gone as far as to take ALL my jewelry of to get that extra .2 pounds.

Well not tonight! With the weather getting cooler and wanting to remove that extra stress. I decided what the heck! I am sick to death of wearing the same ugly clothes every time. WHY did I get these cute clothes if I am not going to wear them. So I put on my heavy LONG jeans and off to the meeting I went. With my mind set to having a BIG gain! Even had a bet with Clay that it would be like 5 lbs.

See last Thursday was the UTE football game, so I weighed in that morning. (which I always weigh less in the mornings, DUH!) So let me see how many excuses I can come up with to my mental weight gain. 1..muscle from swimming, 2..water from the salty popcorn every night, 3...the pizza I ate at the game, 4..night vs day; I was weighing in, 5..not eating enough, cause I have been laid up, 6..wearing heavy clothes, 7..not tracking, etc... YOU GET THE PICTURE!

In my mind I thought I blew it this week, so I might as well go out in style! Well I was up, but only by 1.6 pounds. My leader said with the jeans, and the time of day the weigh in was compared to last week, that I more than likely DID NOT gain this week. REALLY??? Bring on the PIZZA!

Oh well at least I can wear my cute clothes now on Thursday nights and feel good doing it! We have another home game this Saturday afternoon. I will be packing and sneaking some healthy food in, as I root for my UTAH UTES!!
GO UTES!!!

Wheelchair-1 Lesia-0

2010-09-06T17:19:00.000-07:00

Kayla handed me the keyboard (good thing it's wireless.) I just wanted to let you know that my "good" foot was injured doing water aerobics. I torn or pulled some ligaments, after trying to stop a bad Charlie Horse in the arch of my foot. That one is slowly getting better.

But then I had a bad accident with my electric (very powerful)wheelchair and my "bad" foot. Here's the ugly story, the best way I know how to explain it:

I was trying to open a bathroom door at a store. I had my leg at an angle as to not to hit my "bad" foot. Going in, I smashed my "bad" foot leg between the outside of the wheel of the chair and the door jam. And in the process of trying to maneuver my chair, away from the jam, I run over my "bad" foot. It was turned inward and twisted upward, as I was running over it. Now that took some major talent! Needless to say I hurt it's pretty bad. I SCREAMED very loud and swore like a sailor! The employees of the store were speechless. Good thing Kayla was there to comfort me and wipe away the tears. She thought I broke it by the way the foot looked after I got free from the door. But I knew it wasn't broke just hurt badly.

If you didn't know I have Tarsal Tunnel on my "bad" foot. I have surgery scheduled for Oct 4th, unless my "good" foot can't handle all my weight. If not I will be canceling the surgery (no weight baring on it after makes it hard with a bad "good" foot.)

I was nervous enough not being able to have weight on my "bad" foot after surgery for 3 weeks, but NOW with an injured "good" foot; I am way stressed. The timing stinks!

So now you know... ARE YOU SO CONFUSED???

Injuries

2010-09-05T12:07:00.000-07:00

Hey, I'm Kayla, Lesia's daughter. My mom has injured both of her feet and can't blog. She asked me to wright this to let you know she wont be on for a while. She needs to keep both of her feet up and on ice. She'll miss you but, will be back when she feels better.
She hopes you wont wright anything interesting of funny until she returns. Thanks, Kayla.

P.S. I will be reading your blogs to my mom. Look for a "Thumbs up!" of a "Smile."

Hip Hip Horray!

2010-09-03T11:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a Great day! My Utah Ute football team won their season opener, in a nail biting game, by a field goal in over time. (27-24) That makes 17 STRAIGHT HOME WINS. 1 more and we BEAT the conference record for home wins! We have the best fans at the game! I screamed and jumped and enjoyed ALL my TD kisses. But not only was that a winner but so was my WI.

I was down another 1.4 pounds this week. At this stage of the game, that is a BIG loss. 2 more weeks and then I will be a FREE member! I have lost 63.4 pounds now. I think when I reach 70 total, I will start my maintenance program. That will put me at 140 pounds. My WW leaders are having fits with my logic, but it's my body and I am the best judge of it. I will listen to them and as long as I am feeling healthy, eating a balanced diet and are within my BMI guidelines. They just need to RELAX and remember I am a "SPECIAL" member.

Just got back from the pool and did my water aerobics plus 2 more hours of laps and lower ab exercises. Loving this gym. But everything will come to a sudden stop Oct 4th when I will be having foot surgery. But as soon as I get the green light from the Dr. I will be back in the game!

Have a great Labor Day everybody!

It's game day!

2010-09-02T07:53:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share some happy memories of our Utah spirit! Hope you like them too. GO UTES!!!!

This was a couple years ago. But We fly our flag proudly!

Getting my game face on..LOLYep this would be me after a great play!

We got to meet the famous Ute quarterback, Brian Johnson.My nails actually made it on TV...LOLYour front room decorated for the Sugar Bowl game. And we won too!That's my girl!Yep Santa is a UTE fan too.Now this is my favorite part of game day. I get a Touch Down kiss after they score!

Even our van gets in the spirit!

In Utah the church saying is CTR (Choose the Right). But at our house CTR means this!

Love my Utah Man! I found this video and thought it was so funny. Oh course these ARE NOT the real words to the school song. But it's how the other college teams think the Utah Ute fans are.

GO UTES!!! It's going to be a GREAT night at our house. Unless we loose:(

Relaxed and enjoying life.

2010-09-01T13:49:00.000-07:00

So happy that I made the decision to cut back on my blog followers. Now I feel more in touch with the ones I follow. It makes it much easier to keep every ones story/life in order. When I was following 60 or more blogs I got confused about who is dealing with what.

Now my blog doesn't light up quite so much when I hit the refresh button. I only have 4 or 5 new ones to read verses 25 to 30 like before. Much more simple and it makes my day free to do other things like go to the gym and do water aerobics.

After I finished the class this morning, I continued to swim with my snorkel and mask for another 2 hours. See in the past I would have been stressing about getting home to check my blogs so I didn't miss any of their/your postings. Oh who am I kidding I would have not even went that early (8 am) cause I was up to my elbows in blog reading...LOL

So thank you for allowing me to only keep a few of my followers and now I can have a LIFE! On another note, I am glad we are doing the Digital Diet, you can read about it here. And WE DO turn the computer off at 7 pm EVERY night. So I can enjoy going to football games or anything else(wink, wink)without the anxiety of cyber space. Our first season football game is tomorrow night. Our house is a very HAPPY place right now! Go UTES!!! (that's our college team).We bleed RED!!

Until later, have fun and relax, I am!!!

My Blog Award.

2010-08-29T14:32:00.000-07:00

THANK YOU JOY over at Nuggets of Truth gave me this award!!You are too sweet!

Here are the 3 rules:

1. Post who gave you this award. CHECK

2. State 10 things you like. I am going to mix this up a little. Because I am different, I thought why NOT? I thought I would list 10 things that I have noticed that is different since I have lost 62 pounds.

3. Give this award to 10 other bloggers and notify them with a comment.

1~In a high wind storm it blows me over or at least it knocks me off balance.

**So yesterday the wind was really strong and as I was walking to the car a big wind gust came. It made me lose my balance. I started screaming for Clay to come catch me as I was falling backwards. Very scary. I never fell but came really close.

2~Takes less time to shave my legs.

**This morning I set the alarm early as I needed to shave my legs before early morning church. It only took half the amount of time as usual so I could have slept longer. I also cut my shin with the razor cause the bone is so bumpy there now, without all the extra fat. (notice the owie in the picture below)

3~Things fall through my lap now.

**I used to lay my shampoo bottle in my lap (while showering I have to use a shower chair. MS makes it hard to stand that long). Now the bottle falls through my lap. UGH!

4~I can cross my legs and tuck my foot behind my leg. Like a pretzel.

**Like this:(Don't mind the fat thighs. I am trying to cover them with my hands..LOL)

5~Walking is easier.

**Before my foot injury I was walking very well. Some people thought I had been cured from my MS. But now I am not doing as well but it is due to my foot injury. I hope after my surgery I will be back to where I was before.

6~I have a collar bone; I never knew what it was before.

**Laying in bed one night I felt this thing on the neck. I grabbed Clays hand and asked him "What is this? Do I have a growth? Can you feel that?" He just started laughing and said "Oh honey it's just your collar bone!" Very scary.

7~I love shopping for clothes.

**I always hated shopping in the plus size section. I thought the clothes were too old looking and the younger ones were at expensive stores. (like Lane Byrant) Now I can shop ANYWHERE! Totally WICKED!!!!

8~Sitting on a hard surface hurts my butt. (my padding is gone)

**I was sitting on a bench the other night and my butt started hurting. My tail bone was getting sore. So now I have to sit on a cushioned seat. Just call me Princess & the Pea.

9~My weight matches my drivers license now. Actually this week it's less.

**I have always put the wrong weight on my DL. I think it's a girl thing. But now my weight is less than my DL which I find funny...LOL

10~I can touch my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around my legs.

**I really like to curl up in this fetes position while watching TV. Never in my life have I been able to put my feet and butt on the same seat. Clay thinks I am just showing off..LOL

These are not in any order, just ones I feel are deserving. I wanted to give ALL my followers this blog award. Cause I think of you all as a "sweet friend!"

1~Sam at Believe in Yourself.
2~Karla at Daily Thoughts.
3~Jennifer at Weight Loss Journey.
4~Laurie at Feeling Good Inside and Out
5~Vickie at Vickie's Voice.
6~Karen at Waisting Time.
7~Anne at Smaller Fun Pants.
8~Ginie at Diet of 51.
9~Georgia at Georgia Be.
10~Lisa at No more Diet Drama.

Everything in Moderation

2010-08-26T14:51:00.000-07:00

So I was deciding to not do my blog anymore. After talking to a few of my followers, who live by me, they have convinced me to just not read so many of them and still do mine. I have built some close relationships through the blog world and I love those of you that always seem to give kind words on my blog. THANK YOU!

Here are some of the reason I was thinking of when I decided not to blog anymore.

~I am over whelmed with trying to read all of my followers blogs.
~After reading some of them I was left with sadness in my heart for them and their struggles.
~Too much drama sometimes too.
~It was hard for me to read about all the runs and exercises, that so many of you are able to do.
~With my OCD personality dis-order I feel I HAVE to comment on EVERY post. Which is taking a lot of time.
~On that same note; I check my blog for comments WAY too much.
~I am NOT your normal dieter; so really just how much is anybody getting from my blog?
~I don't blog for me, which I think is weird. I blog for validation and that's not good.
~There are more reasons but I think this is enough.

So here is what I came up with to fix the problem and make it work as my solution.

~I have cut the number of blogs to follow, down to a manageable number. (I hope)
~I WILL not be commenting on EVERY blog. So if you see a "thumbs up" or a "smile" in the comment box from me know I read it just can't think of anything clever to say.
~I hope that those of you that want to be a closer friend will join me on facebook. That's where I hang out most the time.

Anyway I hope I am doing the right thing here. At our WW meeting I have learned that you need to do things in moderation. Eating is just one of the many things. I want to use the skills I have learned in my daily life and this is a good place to start. If it doesn't work for me this way I can always make a new plan of action. Until then this is the plan.

I lost another .8 this week so guess what that means???? YEP I broke into the 140's! Barely but I did it!!!

Memories:(

2010-08-24T11:50:00.000-07:00

So I went to a Skating Rink last night and as I was sitting there feeling sorry for myself. Cause I LOVE skating and it makes me sad to know I will never be able to do that again. I was actually really good at it in my early years. (But that all changed when I heard I had MS) I had my own white skates with pom pom on the toes I think they even had a bell on them. I carried them in a skate case and went every Monday night. Some of the best memories were going skating with my BFF on the Skating Rink Bus. We had so much fun and I miss her and those days.

The music and style of skating has changed since I skated. I just was praying they wouldn't play "Loco-Motion", or "I don't like Spiders and Snakes". I Knew I would not be able to handle that memory. (crying in public is not something I enjoy doing) It is sure hard to even listen to these song but I need to face the music... Yep I am crying right now. It brings back so many great memories! How many of you remember these songs?

Anyway back to my story. Clay decides to order a pizza. I thought he would just get a slice but NO he came back with this HUGE pizza. And he placed on the table right in front of me. Yep he sure did!

I looked for the skinniest slice and ate it. Then I excused myself from the table. I told him "I will return to the table when ALL the pizza is gone, Until then I will be sitting over there."

He smiled and I left. This was the only way I knew I could avoid the temptation. It really wasn't that hard when you remove yourself from it...Emotional eating has never been my issue but I think I could have done it last night. (sniff..sniff)

Praying to the NEW scale.

2010-08-22T17:06:00.000-07:00

I am SO sick of the 150's. Can I just tell you that I hate that it is taking forever to get past it. I am SO close. My new scale is so cool. I love that it reads in 1/10 not just in 1/2 pounds.

So Clay took them out of the box and placed it next to my old one. I got on the old one and it read 150.5. Then I got on the new one and it read 141.2. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! I LOVE you NEW scale!!!

Then Clay told me I needed to have it off the carpet in order for it to read right. BUMMER! So I placed it on the floor and stepped back on it. I held my breath and it read 150.1. OH CRAP! I liked the the non-floor reading better. So with that being said I am really ready to see the 140's this week PLEASE...I will make you (the new scale) my BFF...LOL

Dinner with NO guilt?

2010-08-21T07:11:00.000-07:00

It was so nice to get dressed up and go out to dinner to celebrate of anniversary. We went to a very nice place and I had a great dinner.

When I ordered my dinner I asked the serving sizes of the meat and then asked for a to go box. I order the petite Filet Mignon and it still was 6 oz. The halibut was just over 3 oz. I asked if they had fat free sour cream and of course they didn't. So I had them put it on the side. I took less than a tsp of both the butter and sour cream. I thought it was the perfect amount. I took these pictures with my cell, which sucks at quality.

This is what I thought I would eat after I cut the portions in half.I wasn't able to finish the baked potato. This is the food I am bringing home.

Oh yeah I had half of this HOT APPLE CRISP WITH ICE CREAM.

Let's see how I can rationalize eating this! Apples=Fruit, ice cream=Dairy, caramel=Sugar which is made from sugar beets and that's a vegetable. That's my story and I am stickin' to it. It was very YUMMY!

The waitress was awesome and she even said that she has never had anyone ask for a to go container right off the bat. She was impressed that I left satisfied and feeling very happy. And so was I...I don't even WANT to know how many points I ate and I did NOT feel guilty at all.

Clay bought me a new bathroom scale that registers in 1/10 of a pound. (Which I ASKED for). He knows I love music and a few weeks ago I mentioned how I miss John Denver and that I don't have any of his CD's. So he got me a double CD of his music plus a DVD of his live concert. It was a GREAT Anniversary. Thanks for all the kind comments on my earlier post.

Happy Anniversary to me!

2010-08-20T07:07:00.001-07:00

16 Years ago today I married a wonderful man and what a ride we have had together. Thank you God for bringing him into my screwed up life. Love ya Clay...

2005

2006

2007 (football gameface)

20072007

2007

2008
2008

2009 (On the River boat in Alaska)

2009

2009 (Our Alaska fishing trip on my dads boat. I caught that fish!)2009 (Our helicopper ride over Hoover Dam)

2010

20102010 (Sea World with my new BFF Vickie & Vern)Current

I wish I had more pictures of our early years but that was before the digital camera era and being able to save them on the computer. I have them just all in scrapbooks. As you can see it has been very eventful..

Loss for words

2010-08-19T11:19:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: This post is NOT about anyone but my family and is NOT meant to offend my readers in any way. With that being said I also am NOT a very good writer so bare with me.

I was talking to my oldest daughter and I had a thought. Let me set the story first.

She has always struggled with her weight over her 30 years. Sometimes she self medicated herself with over the counter pills and even illegal drugs to keep her weight down. When she was in her early twenties she was a size 9 and looked good. She has had 6 kids with 3 different dads. She has let her body go over the last year or so. After the babies were born she worked really hard to get back in shape. But the weight didn't have time to adjust before another baby. She only has custody of 2 of them today. I have adopted her oldest, Kayla. (long ugly story)

I have ALWAYS been heavier than her. So when I walked into her apartment the other day, this is what she said; "HOLY CRAP mom, you are way too skinny. You look unhealthy to me." Really?? Cause I don't feel unhealthy. I stewed over her reaction for the day. Then I sent her a text to let her know, I was not happy with her lack of support. We have always been close so it was hurtful to hear that from her.

She confessed that she thought I looked great and it was just her being "jealous". This is the first time I have wore a smaller size than her. She currently is in a size 17. Not huge but too big for her body size.

I offered her to option to go with me to WW. And she said she couldn't afford it. Which brings me to the moral of this post.

She lives well below the poverty level. Her income is at it's lowest with no light at the end of the tunnel. She has a boy toy that will not support her on buying healthy foods. (since they are more money). So I thought how hard it would be to lose weight without money, support and dealing with depression (from being over weight and feeling helpless). Along with many other issues. But at least she has good health.

I am going to break these down a little:

MONEY~ can't afford the healthier foods, can't afford an exercise program or even the home equipment (she knows she can come use mine ANYTIME. But usually doesn't have the gas money to come to my house) and not to mention getting the knowledge from a program. (like a WW membership) It seems the cigarette habit that they both have is killing them financially (that's a whole different story, priorities!). The constant stopping at fast food is not helping either. (she doesn't cook and refuses to learn. Part of her self esteem issues.)

SUPPORT~ I realize how hard this is NOT having someone who can support you on this hard journey. Her boy toy is NOT going to be a support. I will but, it will not be the same, since we don't live under the same roof. I could not have done this without my meetings or the abilities to read blogs (which she doesn't have the means to do).

DEPRESSION~ As most of you know, emotional eating is very REAL, and she has that issue. Having tons of trials over her short life; has caused her a lot of sadness. (not going to go there here. Trust me it's bad.) She is very hard on herself for letting herself go and feels there is no way to get back on track.

A lot of these things can be FIXED if only she wasn't living in poverty. How many hundreds, if not thousand, of people who live in poverty, live their whole life overweight? It breaks my heart to see her like this but I can not control her anymore. She has to REALLY want to change and then maybe I can help by being there for her with emotional support and ideas to make simple meals.

I normally don't write about things that are depressing. But I was hoping that someone out there can offer me a suggestion that can help my daughter. There is much, much more to this story but you get the idea. She is the KING of excuses and drama. I am at a "loss for words" on how to help her. Thanks for your comments ahead of time.

Jazzercise???

2010-08-18T11:02:00.000-07:00

I went to my first Jazzercise class this morning. I knew I wasn't going to be able to do A LOT of the moves but I wanted to at least try. There was only 3 of us in the class and the instructor was informed that I needed some special attention.

Out came this shaky little folding chair and she said "You can sit on this or use it to help you balance." I immediately thought "Yeah right like if I was to lose my balance I will just take that chair right down with me!" But not wanting to be a trouble maker, I accepted the offer and I was off to the class. Because of the over heating issues I have, they placed a GREAT BIG floor fan right behind me too.

Yes I was determined but NO matter how much my brain said "JUST MOVE YOUR FEET!" it just didn't happen. By the time I got my foot where it was supposed to be the instructor was like 4 steps ahead of me. That's how the rest of the class went. Moving my arms was a no brainer but the lower half of my body was a joke.

After the class she told me "You did a GREAT job." I wonder how much more they pay her for saying that? Cause I felt like an idiot and I didn't even work up a sweat. My coordination is awful and the fact I am still struggling with my foot injury wasn't any help either.

I am going back Friday to a much bigger class and the instructor today offered to join me since she will not be teaching that one. So I will have a private helper to show me all the things I am doing wrong.

All in all, I enjoyed the class. I think they are going to come up with a better method of support, other than a rick-a-dee of folding chair. At least I hope so. I guess I could go up to the front of the class and use the stage as a hand rail. NOT!!! I surely don't need the whole class watching me trying to do the moves. I think I will remain at the back.

A lot of TNT..

2010-08-15T13:31:00.000-07:00

Went and saw James Otto, Trace Adkins & Toby Keith last night. I danced more at this concert than I have at any of them this far. The concert has perfect. The weather was awesome and the acts were FABULOUS!

The gang!

Toby has a GREAT outdoor concert show. He had everything from live fire, fireworks, trucks, streamers and confetti. Toby's show went on for over 2 hours.

I absolutely loved Trace & Toby (my new TNT). I danced every thing that God gave me... See for yourself:

James Otto

Trace Adkins

Trace

Yummy Trace

dancing to Badonkadonk...

Rocking my new jeans.

Toby came out in the back of a truck.

Man he's hot!

Dancing to Toby's song "You shouldn't Kiss me like this"..

For the encore they both came out and sung "American Soldier". Way cool!

If I had to rank this concert I would put it as 1 of the top 5 of the BEST I have EVER seen. And believe me I have seen hundreds. Going to see Brad Paisley in a month. Can't wait to see him and Darius Rucker. That one should rock the house!

The Digital Diet:

2010-08-13T19:52:00.000-07:00

4 ways to Cut the Connection

I was watching the local news today and I saw this. It is over 7 minutes long just to let you know ahead of time. It really hit home for me and wondered how many others could relate too.

Take the time if you can and watch this, you wont be sorry.

You would think it was referring to food but its not. Never knew the skills and lessons I am learning with the WW lifestyle is also something I can use for other aspects in my life as well.

1) Slow the techno flow
2) Minimize the temptation
3) Involve another
4) Enjoy the benefits

KEY 1: I am that person who checks my facebook and blog too many times to count in a day. Looking for that high (validation as my hubby calls it). It's time to do some changes and Slow the Techno Flow!

KEY 2: We are going to TURN the computer COMPLETELY off every night at 7 pm and NOT to be turned back on til 7 am.the next morning. My computer takes a long time to boot, so if it is turned all the way off I will not be so tempted to just move the mouse and be back in business.This will minimize the temptation.

KEY 3: Having my husband on board with me will help us keep each accountable in doing this. In other words involve another.

KEY 4: And lastly Enjoy the benefits. We are going to chart all the positive things that have improved since we decided to cut the connection.

No worries I am not going to stop blogging or facebooking. Just going to spend LESS time here and MORE time with my family and other things that I SHOULD be doing (like eating my meals. Remember I don't eat enough and that's been my daily challenge). Wish me luck. I know I will be having withdrawals at first. But it will be for the BEST! Love ya all.

The good, the bad & the ugly:

2010-08-12T18:29:00.000-07:00

GOOD~I had a WW loss again. YIPPIE!

BAD~my surgery is really scaring me with the 3 weeks of no weight baring (with MS I can not hop or do crutches) The knee walker will really help but not sure if I can handle not showering and all the trips to the potty in the middle of the night. Not a for sure fix either because of the MS. Could have a MS lesion causing the nerve compression. 50-50 chance of relief. Only will be worse after, if I accidentally step on my foot during the healing process. Then the long term condition will be more painful then it is now. Still going to do it though. End of Sept between football games and after the Brad Paisley concert. (Priorities)

UGLY~I just ate a slice of Chicago Stuffed Pizza from Papa Murphys! Yes I did! And it was YUMMY!!! (Ate it cause I wanted it not for emotional reasons)

Safety Net

2010-08-11T08:06:00.000-07:00

I cleaned out my closet last night. It was very emotional. I had a friend come over and she tried on ALL of the things that were in her size. She went home with a HUGE green leaf and lawn bag. So heavy she could barely carry it. I was happy to be able to help her out with new outfits (she just got a new job and needed nice things to wear). She also has kids to buy school clothes for too so money is tight at her home. And like most moms we tend to put ourselves last to buy for.

After she left I just stood in my EMPTY closet and started to cry. Clay came in a gave me a hug and tried to comfort me. But for some reason it didn't help. He asked me if any of the items I gave away were things I could still wear? I said "no" they were too big BUT they were clothes that I just bought a few weeks ago and some I had not even had a chance to wear. I do find comfort in lose fitting clothes too. I counted the empty hangers. I have 103 hangers with nothing on them now.

I am so scared that the smaller size clothes that I am buying now will just be too tight or uncomfortable to wear everyday. You see I was wearing those bigger clothes for some odd reason still. Yes they were baggy and I only wore them around the house not to go out in.

Clay said something that hit me hard. He said I was using those clothes as a "safety net". He might be onto something there. Now I am forced to stay a size 10 or smaller and not a 14. In my mind I still can not wrap around the fact I am in that size. It is going to be a hard couple of days as I have to wear the smaller size, that's all I have in my closet now.

Good bye clothes! I will miss you:(

I love a bargin:)

2010-08-10T14:10:00.000-07:00

Have I mentioned I LOVE to shop at the thrift stores! Well I DO! After a few hours I was able to come home with these items. Plus Kayla bought ALL her school clothes too. Everything is so stinkin' cute and lot of mix and match outfits.

I went to a different store that I haven't been going to. Have not been there in years. I was pleasantly surprised how different it was since the last time I was there. It was HUGE and clean and so organized! Everything sorted by style, size then color. Much more easier to shop than the last store. I have a NEW love now!

Left to right: pale yellow long shirt with a floral blouse and a chain belt, black and white dress from Dillards (expensive store), tan and white dress jacket (dry clean only), dark teal green swede long shirt and floral top, long knit black shirt and white top, purple low wasted jeans and floral top, brown/denim low wasted jeans and short wasted short sleeved denim jacket.
Top of the clothes: a tan long shirt with a purple top and floral light weight jacket and a beaded belt with a bracelet to match.

So excited to wear all my new finds at the thrift store. I bought size 10's and mediums so they should fit, I hope, for a while.

I was like a kid in a candy store. I need to build me a bigger closet now. Poor Clay has this tiny corner of our big walk in. Also find out if I donate directly to the store they give me a 20% discount coupon. I am so into that!

How "Charm"-ing!

2010-08-09T08:47:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the delay on this post but I was waiting for my WW leader to send me our picture that was taken on her cell phone the night I was awarded my charm. So here it is.

My WW star that you get when you reached goal weight.

This is my leader Kris and me last Thursday night at my weekly meeting.

Not a bit excited...LOL

Slip Sliding Away!

2010-08-07T21:01:00.000-07:00

Kayla and her cousin at the water park

Ok I thought I would blog about our day at the water park and slides with my brother and his family. The 1st one I went down was a blast. So I thought I would be brave and do more of the bigger ones. This is a picture of the 1st one I did. See ALL those stairs I climbed up? The end of the slide is at the back of this picture but you get the idea. It was a big one. I screamed the whole way down from excitement.
Then I went to slide number 2. It was a double tube ride slide so I thought I would be protected since my hubby was going to be on the tube with me. So I climbed on the front of the double tube and hubby got on behind me. Then we were off. The first turn was wicked and I screamed alright and then we rounded the 2nd curve. And that's when it happened!

Yep The tube went way up high on the side of the slide and I fell on hit the side of my head smack dab on the slide. Hubby fell off too but the slide was so steep that the water just pushed me down on my stomach feet first with the tube on top of my head. I was knocked out from the blow and as I went sliding down this big slide all I remember was the big splash at the bottom of the pool. I couldn't stand up or swim and Clay came splashing down right behind me so he tried to pull me out of the deep pool of water. He grabbed me and drug me to the edge where I could stand. I fell several more times back in the water as he tried to rescue me. The stupid life guards just stood there doing NOTHING! The spectators at the side of the pool were very concerned and checked to see if I had a concussion by checking my eyes.

My sister-in-law was watching for us to come down the slide and she witnessed this girl coming out and said "I hope that's not Lesia", then as I hit the water and she saw Clay grabbing me she said "Holy Crap, it is Lesia" And she ran to the side of the pool to help. LOL This is the tunnel that I came out feet first with the tube on my head. It doesn't look that big but believe me it was.
Needless to say that ended my excitement at the slide rides. So I went and hung out at the wave pool where I was able to just rock in the waves.Even with all this drama I had a blast and can't wait for the bump on my head to go away so I can get back on the slides again. Or better yet I am planning a jet skiing trip in a few weeks.

Never a dull moment in my fun filled life.

Clay had the right idea just chilling at the side of the pool.

Sleepless on a Saturday

2010-08-07T06:40:00.000-07:00

Have you ever not been able to sleep, because you know you went to bed without reading ALL the blogs you follow? Well that was me last night. Knowing that I would be gone all day today and that my blog friends would be posting new ones over the ones I missed or I would have more of them to read, caused me to get up at 6 am on a Saturday and do my daily reading.

Going to another Water Park today to get out of the heat. Hope you all have a great weekend. And thanks for the reading this morning. Hope I don't fall asleep on the raft at the wave pool...LOL

Maybe I will do the huge slides to wake me up! Whatever I do you can bet it WILL BE FUN!!!!

Tears of joy.

2010-08-05T09:22:00.000-07:00

So much to say but lack the words to say them. First TY TY TY for everyone's support as I have made my journey through losing this weight.

As I wrote yesterday, I went shopping. I picked through the size 12 clothes and then made my way to the dressing room. Are you kidding me! They too were too big. So all that time going through the racks was wasted. Back I went to get size 10. Really???? All the size 10 outfits fit and I was delighted to finally say I wear a SIZE 10 now. And to add a bonus I no longer wear a large tee shirt either. I am now sporting a medium! I will be taking new pictures of some of the cute outfits I bought. Once I have a reason to wear them. (come on Sunday church get here) My mom said she doesn't ever recall me wearing a size 10 as a child. Second childhood here I come!

I had noticed earlier in the week that my "muffin bottom" was going down in size but I didn't think much about it other than I looked better in my swim suit. Speaking of swimming suits, I found a very cute one at the thrift store, which that has never happened before. Anyway back to my thoughts. I have heard it said a lot of times that its not just about the number on the scales. It is also the inches you have lost. Not every doing my body measurements, left me with just my clothes fitting me differently to see those inches being lost. And THAT happened way too fast. There are some really cute clothes that I never got a chance to even wear. (sniff, sniff!)

Anyway I wrote about my goal weight being changed and now I am not stressing about that "magic number". I weighed my self this morning and the scales MOVED!!!! So beings how today is Thursday I quickly ran to the center and got the official WW weigh in. OMG another surprise! How many can I handle in a week? Yes I had a 4 pound loss! I am now 151 pounds and I have lost just over 60 pounds! REALLY?????

As I walked to my car the tears started flowing down my face. This time not from sadness but from the pure joy of knowing that I did this ALL with MS. For years I have been telling myself that I deserved to be fat cause I could not exercise or even walk. But now I know that information was not true. I DO deserve to be healthy and not fat. Yes I still have MS but I am not going to just except that I am not a deserving person of having happiness.

Like I said at the beginning, I have so much on my mind but am so over joyed that I am not able to put it in the right words. So I tried and I hope you NEVER give up and just remember YOU TOO DESERVE TO BE HEALTHY AND HAPPY! Look now "IF I can do this YOU can too!" How many times have you heard that before?

Good bye 14, hello 12!

2010-08-04T07:56:00.000-07:00

Dropped another size so I am off to the thrift store to get me some new clothes. I love looking at all the clothes that other people have donated. I get some really great items for such little money. It takes some time and effort but way worth it.

Happy shopping for me!

Just keep swimming...

2010-08-03T16:27:00.000-07:00

Went to the lap pool today with my snorkel in hand. It only took me a couple of tries and I had it down. Never knew there was an art to placing the snorkel on the mask, to prevent the water from going down it. But I quickly find that there is.

Once I had it where it needed to be I was off like a pro. I swam 1/2 mile and did tons of leg and lower ab exercises. It sure wore me out but so excited to be able to swim again.

Now that I have this system down, I will be working on getting to a mile. I love challenges. And I won't stop til I do it either.

So just keep swimming!

Them danged ol' hills...

2010-08-02T14:40:00.000-07:00

I have noticed lately that MANY of my readers are struggling with one thing or another. From day to day struggles to emotional eating. Along with many other reasons. I wanted to share with them and you what gets me through those difficult days.

I love this song and what it represents. Living in Utah where I have a mountain in my back yard is a constant reminder.

Music is my love and I get great comfort in listening to songs. This is just 1 of many. I hope it helps you too.

Here are the lyrics:

Mountains by Lonestar

Lucinda Jones workin' at the IHOP:
Ten years worth of bacon, eggs an' tears
She's waited on every creed an' color,
While waitin' on this day to get here
Graveyard shifts, two bit tips,
Makin' every quarter count,
Was worth it all to see her son,
In that cap an' gown

There are times in life when you gotta crawl,
Lose your grip, trip an' fall
When you can't lean on no-one else:
That's when you find yourself
I've been around and I've noticed that
Walkin's easy when the road is flat
Them danged ol' hills'll get you every time
Yeah the good Lord gave us mountains,
So we could learn how to climb

Bobby, Bobby Dunn came back from the war
Lost his leg but they couldn't take his will
Hell bent to run in that local marathon
He trained through the endless pain an' pills
It hurt so bad that sometimes
He just had to cry
He didn't stop until he crossed
That finish line

There are times in life when you gotta crawl
Lose your grip trip an' fall
When you can't lean on no one else
That's when you find yourself
I've been around and I've noticed that
Walkin's easy when the road is flat
Them danged ol' hills'll get you every time
Yeah the good Lord gave us mountains
So we could learn how to climb

This world ain't fair
It can knock you on your butt
You can just lie there
Or you can get back up
You gotta get back up

There are times in life when you gotta crawl
Lose your grip, trip an' fall
When you can't lean on no one else
That's when you find yourself
I've been around and I've noticed that
Walkin's easy when the road is flat
Them danged ol' hills'll get you every time
Yeah, the good Lord gave us mountains
The good Lord gave us mountain
So we could learn how to climb
Yeah, oh

Just know I am here for you and I wish you well. Love ya,

Something in black...

2010-08-01T11:44:00.000-07:00

I am so excited on how nice I looked today in my NEW SEXY BLACK dress. I guess I do clean up good...LOL Would have NEVER even thought about wearing something this short and form fitting before.

My ego was fed by all the members of my church; as they continued to tell me how nice and thin I looked in my new dress. Even my husband gave me a whistle, as I stepped out of the bedroom, after getting dressed.

Looking at my before and after picture has helped me with my struggle in seeing the new me. I can hear it over and over, but in my mind I still see myself as a size 22. I don't know if you have that same problem, but I understand that it is normal. So taking pictures of myself has in a small way helped me see that I am getting smaller.
This was last summer. It is really hard for me to find a before picture at my heaviest (220) because I never liked my picture taken. And if some rare chance I was willing, it was always just a face shot. But most of the time I was the one who was taking the pictures, that way it was safe for me.
This was taking after I lost my first 20 pounds. See lots of layers and always trying to hide under a jacket. But not anymore!
Sorry if my posting is boring to my readers but I will be printing this blog and saving it as a book. So I can always remember my journey with losing the weight.

My incredible evening.

2010-07-31T09:57:00.000-07:00

This will not be about weight. This is about PURE heaven for me! See for yourself.

Me trying to make my own shade in the 100 degree weather before the concert.

Love & Thief an upcoming country band.

Hanging out with my hubby.

Lady Antebellum.

And I had to get another tee shirt.

I think they heard me yelling.

I am in love with Lady Antebellum's song "I need you now". Can you tell? That's what they were singing during this picture.

Now they are singing my song.

They are fabulous singers just need to get a better stage show. But they are still not a headline. So it will happen in time.

Now for the BIG guns!

I took 169 pictures at the concert and I am only posted a few. But the concert was great and I loved the company too. There were tons of drunks at the concert. So I fit right in with my MS and the lack of walking too steady...LOL

I ROCKED my gut and BUTT off during the concerts.

You can see Tim McGraw in the background up on the cement wall. We were not able to get closer due the the strict security. So the pictures are not the best. Sorry.

And you HAVE to have a BUTT shot when it looks this fine!

Thank you Tim McGraw for the incredible concert.

My adorable family. Even though he is not a concert lover he takes it with a smile.

See what I mean about his lack of concert love? Boo Hoo to him shaking his butt.

Get to go see Toby Keith and Trace Adkins in 2 weeks. So I will be posting that one too. I hope you guys don't mind my obsession in posting my concert pictures?

Forgive me...

2010-07-29T18:24:00.000-07:00

Where do I begin?

For those of you that are not familiar with my journey, I have MS, which is trigger by stress along with many other things. But I am going to talk about my stress. And oh yeah, I have OCD!

My WI days (nights) have been Thursdays, now for the last 9 months. Which is how long I have been doing WW. I confess I AM A SCALE ADDICT! Yes, I jump on that silly thing twice a day. For months (at the early stages) I was letting those scales rule my life and caused me stress. But after many long talks to my husband and to myself, I no longer allow that to happen. I now use the scales to keep me in check with my weight. Knowing that my weight goes up and down daily, if not hourly, and I am ok with that.

So now I started obsessing about that MAGIC goal weight number! You know the one that WW wants you to set in order to get their free lifetime membership? So every Thursday I pray to those scales, that today will be the day that I get closer to that MAGIC number. I am so close but just can't reach it. It has been causing me MAJOR MAJOR anxiety and stress. (To the extent that my MS is being effected).

I re-looked at the healthy weight guidelines and decided to make a change to my MAGIC number. ONLY on paper/books, to get to my free lifetime membership with WW. In my mind I am still focused on a much lower MAGIC number. I really think that this will help with my weekly Thursday anxiety attack. No more tears for me. So I looked over my record of weekly WI and found a number that I reached 5 weeks ago and made that my MAGIC number.

So now as long as I don't go over that by 2 pounds, I get a free membership for life. I have 6 weeks to hold my weight lower than that MAGIC number. I can go under as far as I want just not over more than 2 pounds. This should be easy, since I am still striving for a lower number. And I'm already 2 pounds lower than it.

So next week I will be awarded with my reward of reaching GOAL. In a way I feel like I have cheated. (But it is still within my healthy weight guidelines.) It was either this or NOT go to the meetings anymore. My health could not take much more of the stress.

Do you think I am cheating? I hope not! Cause I really love my blog followers and would hate to think that you are disappointed in me. Or that you think I am taking the easy way out.

I love you all. Happy THURSDAY to me! NO MORE STRESS ABOUT THAT DAMN NUMBER!!!!

By the way I lost a pound this week. I'll take it with a smile!

Oh to feel young at heart again.

2010-07-27T20:45:00.001-07:00

Here is how my day went after my EMG/nerve test. I went to a neighboring nail salon that has a little clothes boutique in it. To get my nails filled. I was admiring their Skinny Jeans for my 11 year old daughter, who now is wearing a size 1. They were way cute. The woman goes to an Outlet store somewhere in CA and buys these jeans (which go for $100 at the local mall) and then sells them here for $45.00.

The lady behind the desk was watching me and she asked me if I would like to try a pair on. I just looked at her and busted out laughing. Then I followed up with, "1st I am WAY too old to wear them, and 2nd LIKE MY BIG BUTT would fit in them yeah NOT!" So she told me they had up to size 11. Like I said "My butt will never fit in them!"

She insisted that I try on a pair Capri Skinny Jeans in a size 11 . So I humored her and took them to the dressing room. I knew that there would be NO way they would work. But I thought I could see how far I could get them up and then I would at least have an idea on how much more weight I needed to lose before I could get me a pair. I loved them they are way cute, for sure!

OMG! Are you kidding me! THEY FIT! I was now sporting a pair of SKINNY JEANS on my buttock! I went out and ask the lady "Does my butt fit in these? Does it make my butt look big?" Yes I asked her those questions. She told me no and that the pants were supposed to fit like that. Not ever having a pair of LOW LOW rider jeans I was not feeling the comfort. But then I sat down (I made sure my shirt was pulled down over my butt)and I instantly feel in love with them.

So now I am a VERY PROUD OWNER OF MY FIRST PAIR OF SKINNY JEANS! See....

I am still trying to hike them up every time I stand.
Its pretty funny actually. They feel like they are falling off but they really aren't.

I feel so young in them, like a teenager.
With pink and purple hair to boot!

Kayla says I have no butt...
I think the next doctors appointment will be her getting her eyes tested.

"Do these make my butt look BIG?"...LOL

My morning trip to the doctor

2010-07-27T09:13:00.000-07:00

Had my EMG and Nerve Conduction Test on my foot this morning. It was uncomfortable but I got the results and it looks like Tarsal Tunnel. So Friday I go see the surgeon. Maybe I can get my foot healed so I can start walking and exercising again.

All hooked up.

The Probe that sent electricity into the muscle/nerve and made my leg jump really bad.

Muscle readout in the nerve.

Putting the needle in the nerve and then they sent electricity into it and checked the conduction.

The battle wounds. It will leave several bruises on both my legs and feet but it wont last long. Ice it and I will be back to good in no time. The back of my legs need to be tanned more. You can tell that I sit in the sun a lot and the back of my legs aren't as dark...LOL

I am so happy that they found some evidence of Tarsal Tunnel and this may be the answer I have been waiting for. Been having this pain now for 4 months. It took them long enough.

Muffin bottom

2010-07-26T17:52:00.000-07:00

I discovered today that my muffin top is gone but now I have a "muffin bottom" that I don't know what to do with. Let me explain what it is.

You know when you put on a swimsuit and the fat around the edge of the leg openings under your tummy? Well I call that my "muffin bottom". It hangs out of the swimsuit a little more than I like, so I have to wear a pair of shorts or a cute little shirt to hide it. I hope someday that I lose that "muffin bottom" like I did my muffin top.

I wonder if any of you know how I can get rid of it or if I have to have surgery? I am only a few pounds away from my WW goal weight. And I am thinking I want to get below the weight they have set for me (the healthy weight chart number) So I am thinking it may not be ALL fat. But I can say that I HATE it. I can not do sit ups and I am very limited to exercises because of my MS, so now what?

Happy Pioneer Day for us.

2010-07-25T12:03:00.000-07:00

Utah celebrates the 24th of July as the day the Mormon Pioneers entered into the Salt Lake Valley. They call it Pioneer Day.

Well what a day! Went to the Amusement Park for the whole day with my family. Started out with the preparation in packing all the food and extra clothes. I did really good at the food packing. Made sure I had enough for lunch and dinner plus snacks. I also packed several bottles of water too. I love going places that allow coolers and outside food. Makes living a whole lot easier.

I rode rides that I had never dared ride in the past (and wont be doing some of them again). I climbed a very high water slide and even got stuck in the slide. What's up with that. Crappy slide anyway. This is me at the bottom of the slide:

Notice I had on my sandals with my Ortho inserts in them.

Getting out of the tube was a challenge. Glad my son was there to give me a hand.

But first I needed to get my bathing suit out of my butt...LOL

I am not sure how hot it got but it was REALLY HOT even in the shade. I totally loved the sunshine though. I am going to upload some of my favorite pictures of the day. Hope you enjoy them.

Kayla and her dad on the Rock O Plane.

Getting ready to go up on the Blast Off Rocket ride.

This was the Re-Entry Rocket Ride, my son was not liking it as much as I was.

My favorite ride hands down. Rode it like 6 times.

That's me at the end with my hands up in the air. I was screaming too with excitement not out of fear.
At the top about to drop on the Re-Entry Rocket ride.

We always get an airbrush tattoo when we come here. So this was Kayla's.

This is what my son got. Long story about my boy but he is very special and has MANY challenges in his life. (born code blue at 10 pounds 4 oz)

And this is mine.

This was 1 of the rides I chose NOT to do again. The guy with the red shirt on with his arms all out like he is superman is my hubby. A Kayla is right infront him with hers out too.

Love this picture. She won this at one of the arcade games.

Now that I posted all these. I was thinking I should have made the pictures into a slide show. Sorry.

The end of a fun filled day!

Cheers!

2010-07-24T07:32:00.000-07:00

On my way to the Amusement/Water park for 11 hours. I hope I packed enough food so I don't have to eat their stuff. It is in the 90's here and I love riding the rides (the Rocket is my favorite)and feeling the sunshine (Rattlesnake Rapids will be refreshing too). Should be a GREAT day with my family. I will post pictures tomorrow. Have a great day friends!

Shake it off and Step it up!

2010-07-23T07:26:00.000-07:00

So my WI was NOT good. I gained 1.2 pounds. Which is my 2nd highest gain over the 8 months of doing WW. The other one was 1.6. I was not surprised that I gained but was disappointed that it was so much. I have a TOTALLY different issue than 99.9% of my readers. I have a very slow metabolism and my body does not crave the fuel to make it through the day. I don't walk around or do much of anything while I am awake. So hence I am never hungry and I can go hours and hours with anything but water. And that is NOT good either. So even though we all have our struggles with weight and food mine is with the lack of food that keeps me fat.

Going to start tracking again and force myself (in spite of the pain in my foot) to ride my bike again. Oh and I will be returning to the lap pool to snorkel... I am going to set my timer to remind myself (force) to eat every 2-3 hours.

At last nights WW meetings I heard this cute story. I wanted to share it. So when life throws dirt on you, remember this:

A parable is told of a farmer who owned an old mule. The mule fell into the farmer’s well. The farmer heard the mule braying or whatever mules do when they fall into wells.

After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer sympathized with the mule but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth the trouble of saving. Instead, he called his neighbors together, told them what happened, and enlisted them to help haul dirt to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery.

Initially, the old mule was hysterical! But as the farmer and his neighbors continued shoveling, and the dirt hit his back, a thought struck him. It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back, he should shake it off and step up!

This he did, blow after blow. “Shake it off and step up…shake it off and step up…shake it off and step up!” He kept on repeating this phrase to encourage himself. No matter how painful the blows or distressing the situation seemed, the old mule fought panic and just kept right on shaking it off and stepping up.

You’re right!! It wasn’t long before the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped triumphantly over the wall of that well. What seemed like would bury him actually blessed him – all because of the manner in which he handed his adversity.

That’s life! If we face our problems and respond to them positively, refusing to give in to panic, bitterness, or self pity, the adversities that come along to bury us usually have within them the potential to benefit and bless us. Remember that forgiveness, faith, prayer, praise and hope all are excellent ways to “shake it off and step up” out of the wells in which we find ourselves!

Have a great weekend friends.smile.

Come out, Come out whoever you are!

2010-07-22T06:41:00.000-07:00

So much going on in my brain today. You know its bad when you can't sleep because of all the ideas you want to blog about. My fear is if I blog at any length my readers will just skip my blog. (I guess that comes from what I do when I see a really long one. Minus a few that I HAVE to read cause I think they are so funny.) So the short and sweet blogs are my favorite. And if they have pictures, then that just made them better in my book.

Sometimes I don't have any thing interesting to comment but to let my friends know I read it, I just write the word.smile. in the comment box. Laying in bed I was thinking. How many people really read my blog and NEVER comment? Cause to me that is rude. (well kind of rude). We all have our favorite blogs and most of us don't have hours to read the ones we follow.

So with that being said I was wondering how many people actually read my blog? I have the handful that I know come to my blog, but what about all the rest? So if you are a SECRET STALKER, come out from behind the screen and say "hi".

WI is tonight..Anxiety is running high here today. As I get closer to my goal I fear I still wont be happy or even reach that magic size(whatever that may be?).

Cowabunga Baby!

2010-07-17T21:13:00.000-07:00

Found a new water park in our area, called Cowabunga Bay. It is way fun with water slides and 2 of my favorite buckets. I took a lunch in a cooler but was not allowed to bring it in so I ate out in the parking lot but we stayed at the park for 9 hours. When it came to eating dinner well it was not so good. This is the first time in 8 months that I fell off the wagon but not by choice. (hanging head in shame). I did not go hog wild only had a grilled turkey and bacon sandwhich. No fries and water to drink.

I did do lots of climbing those giant stairs though. Maybe that will help with the calories. Here are some photos and a video enjoy!

Hanging on to the girls while I wait for the water to fall.

Yes that would be me making that splash! I did notice I go down faster but have a smaller splash than I used to last year.

What a great day! Had by all. I hope this weekend you find some where cool and fun to spend your time.

My new favorite place

2010-07-16T08:11:00.000-07:00

I know I have been slacking my blog. I am sorry. It's not because I haven't been doing well. Just been hanging at the pool trying to stay cool. My house stays at a very constant coolness but then I have to hear "Mom I'm bored. What are we going to do today?" So I have found a really cool pool close, about a 20 minute drive, and we go there EVERYDAY! My tan is very brown and my farmers tan on my feet is even better than I posted earlier. Anyway what to say today..Hmmm

I guess I can talk about the new pool and how it fits in with my diet journey. Every year for the last few I have bought a pool summer pass to a VERY close swimming pool by my house. It is small and not much for a 11 year old to do, but I got to hang out with my BFF and stay cool in the heat. But they increased the cost and they will not allow any outside food. I was tired of never having a chair to sit at unless, we ran as soon as the gates open to find one. And they even changed the time to an hour later for open plunge. So I decided to start looking for a new hang out.

This is Kayla as the bucket came crashing down!

Finding the Kearns Pool was easy. It has a HUGE bucket that is full of 1000 gallons of water that dumps every few minutes. It also has 5 outdoor pools (1 is just for lap swimming) and 2 indoor ones. They have tons on toys/slides for the kids to play on (or get lost on). Seems I never can find them when its time to go. But can I just tell you I love the BUCKET! The 1st time I was warned that it would knock me over so I sat on the ground where it dumped. I felt like Irene Cara in Flash Dance.

Another thing I love about this pool is the fact you can take in your own food. Very few swimming pools in our area will allow that. They offer the normal junk at the concession stands too. This by itself is worth the extra cost of their admission. So I get up early and begin to pack the cooler with fresh fruits and veggies. I often take a sandwich made with ham, tomato, mustard on a sandwich thin. I have had a fresh spinach salad with mandarin oranges, cheese sticks, red peppers, etc... You get the point. A much healthier way to spend the day at the pool.

We get there at noon and usually come home around 4:30. So that would be a long day without the food I normally eat during the day. I freeze my water bootles the night before and make sure I pack enough of those too. All in all I love taking my own cooler. Well worth the extra dollar to get in. Just really miss hanging out with my BFF, April:( I listen to my Zune (with handsets on)and often have been told by my daughter, I am singing too loud. LOL Sorry if you were sitting within ears length. I can't help it. I love music...

Now for the funny part. Being from the East coast, I totally know how to swim. But since my MS I have really struggled with using my legs. It is not so easy to swim without those little things. But the BIG thing is I can no longer move my head back and forth or up and down to retrieve a breathe of air while swimming. It makes me very dizzy. So I thought I would try to use the snorkel. Not having the mask that came with it (lost at the pool on an earlier visit, not at the lost and found either) I just bought some eye goggles at the pool. Not a good combo. Water kept going either up my nose or in the snorkel. The funniest thing ever to see me choking on the water.

So I used on hand and pinched my nose and tried to hold the snorkel while kicking with my weak legs and 1 arm. Again pretty funny. The other people in the lap pool got a really funny show watching this. And my daughter laughed so hard she almost peed her pants. So back to the gift shop I went to buy a nose piece. You would think that would have done the trick. But all it did was make me breathe too fast out of my mouth and I got really light headed. Plus the snorkel only stayed upright for a short while, then back with the choking water. OMG! I am so determined to get these laps done. I only was able to do 4 laps with lots of interruptions from me being an idiot. The poor life guard thought I was going to drown. LOL

We went to Wally World last night and bought a new mask and snorkel. Haven't tried it yet but plan on very soon. My face is too sunburned today to wear the mask and so I am home writing my blog instead of being at my NEW favorite place to hang out.

Have a great weekend I will be at the pool trying out my new snorkel and dancing like a MANIAC...LOL

P.S. my WW weigh in last night survived the 26 point movie popcorn disaster. I lost 2.2 making my grand total of 56.4 pounds weighing in at 155.2. I also changed my WW life time goal to 143 so I had a little more wiggle room (you are only allowed to gain 2 pounds to remain free as a life timer) But in my mind my goal is 140 still. So that gives me 5 pounds to play with. Smart I think.

Healthy food AGAIN?

2010-07-10T17:10:00.000-07:00

So my 11 year old told me today "Mom, the neighbors are having pizza for dinner. Can I eat over there please"? I told her "We are have a very yummy BBQ with marinated chicken breast and fruit/veggie skewers. I am going to make a fruit dip that I got from my WW meeting last week." Her next statement was "But mom, I am tried of eating healthy foods. I weighed myself and I used to weigh 80 pounds and now I only weigh 72. I don't want to lose any more weight. I am supposed to be growing not shrinking." What can I say to that?

Well here is what I told her. "Honey you are right, you are supposed to be growing. And you are. I think the summer activities have caused you to lose. You are very active and you don't slow down long enough to eat a healthy meal. I hope you realize that you are welcome to eat WHATEVER you want to eat." Then hubby said "Me too?" and I followed his response with "When you can see your feet over your belly then 'YES' you can too".

We both just laughed about it. Was that mean?

P.S. She had pizza for dinner by the way. And our dinner was FABULOUS! She even had some fruit with the dip. I warned her "Watch out it's healthy." She said she likes that kind of healthy. KIDS! LOL!

Oh CRAP!

2010-07-09T20:38:00.000-07:00

So I go to the movie with my family a couple times or more in a month. Every time I down a large no butter popcorn and my water. While my family eats candy, soda, hot dogs, nachos, etc. I was thinking I was making the better choice by getting the popcorn.

Just out of curiosity I googled Cinamark popcorn. The large has (are you sitting down) 20 cups in it. Which equals 1150 calories, 76 grams of fat, (not sure what the fiber was). In WW language that is 26.5 points.

I only get 21 a day; so I see a BIG problem with this. OMG I had NO FREAKIN idea that it was that much. No wonder I haven't been losing like I thought. At the concerts, at Sea World, the zoo, football/baseball games, firework show and even at the pool, I indulge in a box of popcorn. I have always heard that popcorn was low in calories. But obviously not the kind you get at concession stands. Now that I know this IMPORTANT information, I WILL NOT be eating that anymore. I will be making my own and smuggling it into the movies with my water.

I have been beating myself up all night about this. Even to the fact of balling my eyes out. WHY! WHY! Did I eat that? I am so PISSED at myself. So my hubby tried to console me by saying, "Honey there isn't anything you can do about it now. Just know that it wont happen again and let it go. The damage is done". It still doesn't help me to feel better though..(sob, sob!)

Trying real hard to see this glass 1/2 full. So the only thing I can say about this BIG mess up is: "All that popcorn helped me go poop poop in the potty".

Mirror challenge Award

2010-07-06T21:33:00.000-07:00

I received this really cute blog award from Karen at Muffin Fixation. Because she did something really cool instead of the rule of telling 10 things about yourself, I wanted to changed it up too. Since I already did a 7 things you didn't know about me on an earlier post. This little blog award is so darn cute, thank you Karen. Not sure if I deserve it but Thank you again. I hope I do it justice. Here I go:

In order to fulfill my requirements for this award I have to do the following:

1. Thank the recipient: Thanks, Karen!!!
2. Link back to the giver: See above and here again.
3. Reveal 10 things about me: Which I choice not to do again instead I am going to look in the mirror and find 10 things I like about myself. That is going to be REALLY REALLY hard. But I will try, only cause I need to do this more.

1). I love my new hair cut and color. I am always going way out there when it comes to being different and my hair is no exception. I realize that its not for everyone but I am NOT just anyone. So I dared to do it. I started this years ago but this is the most color I have gotten at one time. See for yourself.

2). My new size 12 jean shorts and bright colored San Diego tee shirt.

3). My eyes. I have always had nice eyes and that is an easy one for me to pick. I always know when its going to be a great day when I get my eye liner on even. LOL This was taken with my cell phone so its not very big, sorry.

4). My shoe inserts which is helping me walk. And I got these shoes the day before we left on our trip. I put velcro in them to keep them from falling off. I was not going to wear tennis shoes to the beach. And they were white so I used a Sharpie marker and colored them so they didn't stick out like a sore thumb.

5). My suntan. I know some of you will have a hard time with this one because of the whole skin cancer thing. But I believe that brown fat looks thinner than white fat. Hence I love the sun. This is a picture of my feet after my trip to CA. Notice my feet are swollen and I need lotion. LOL

6). My thinner legs is another thing I see that I like better than my old ones.
7). Now its getting hard. I can name objects like my jewelery but I'm thinking that probably doesn't count. So now what? Especially since I make my own jewelery for the most part. So I am grasping at straws here. UGH. This is harder than I thought. Ok how about my new boobs. I will save you the TMI photo and just trust me I have a cleavage. See from my beach photos.
8). My long fingers on my hands. I always wanted to learn to play the piano but never did. Probably a good thing now since my MS would not allow me to play. But I have perfect fingers for that and to also be able to wear big rings. Which I love. Got the Coral ring in CA. Its way pretty. And I am getting nails put on tomorrow, so I cut my off before they do.

9). My smile is one I love sometimes. Since my brain surgery and after they cut the nerve at the base of my brain stem, I have no feeling on the left side of my face. So when I am tired my smile is crooked. So I have to smile big to have a straight one. So I am ALL teeth most of the time.
10). Which brings me to my last and final one thank goodness. That would be my white teeth. I love how white they are especially when I am tan and have on a dark lip stick.

So Now for the final part of this award. I need to pass it on to 3 people. Because I follow so many this one is even harder than looking in the mirror But I will do my best. Here they are in no order.
1~Vickie. Love her, she is my new found BFF from San Diego.
2~ TaDa from the other side of the coast FL. It amazes me on how much fun she can have and still loss weight doing it.
3~And lastly it has to be Genie. You crack me up with your stories and your life is so interesting. It just goes to show me that being over 50 doesn't mean you are legal to be boring.

Well I hope I didn't bore you all to tears but I was given this award and I wasn't going to do nothing with it. Thank you again Karen. (I guess I am thankful.) LOL

Only in my dreams.

2010-07-05T08:12:00.000-07:00

When I dream at night, I am always healthy. Meaning I NEVER have MS. I often am running or hiking, things like that. As I read all my follower's blogs, about their success in doing 5K and marathons, I get a little sad. I wish the day would come that my dreams would be my reality.

I have come so far and yet it seems so far away. Don't get me wrong I am very happy that I can do the things I am doing today, that I was not able to do just a year ago. But my personality is one of never just being happy with the NOW. I am always trying to improve my life in all kinds of areas. That's why I fear I will not be happy after I get to the weight I have set. But I am realizing that happiness comes from inside of ME!

Unfortunately having MS can really put a damper on my dreams. I want to be able to ride my 2 wheel bike or roller skate again. Those are my 2 BIG dreams that I really think I can accomplish. But the reality of ever running a marathon or hiking a mountain are so far in the distance. So for all of you out there that can do these things my hat goes off to you. And for those of you that aren't doing them (and you are able) you need to go do them.

But until then, at least I can dream.
(and stand long enough to shack my bootie at a concert.)

4th of July Fun

2010-07-04T17:30:00.000-07:00

So I spent hours writing and loading photos for this post and it posted huge. So I deleted it. UGH! Now just going to upload a couple things. First is the Carrie Underwood concert I went to before the firework show.

I danced my butt off during the concert. I feel bad for the people sitting behind me...LOL I think they were asking themselves "Yeah Right, that woman doesn't belong in a wheelchair." Little do they know!
The fireworks were awesome and I have a video but I can't figure out how to get it on my blog. I tried to use the video button, photobucket and even Youtube. I give up if you know how to can you please let me know. My video is so good I really want to post it. Now on another note!

I have 2 photos one from 2008 and then 1 from last night. I really can't see any difference. Maybe that's why I have a hard time accepting compliments. See what I mean?

I know I was smiling REAL BIG in the last photo but that's not what gives it away. I was more excited that I was about to see Carrie. Pretend I wasn't smiling so big. I wore the same shirt and had my hair the same with a hat so I tried to make it as close as I could. Minus the sunglasses of course. Can you really tell the difference?
BE HONEST.
Cause I CAN'T Tell!

Lessons

2010-07-01T18:39:00.000-07:00

No loss is better than a gain. Especially when I know why I didn't lose like I was hoping.
During the trip
1) Not enough water intake. (wasn't going to be going potty the whole trip. I grabbed the wrong pills, so I would be in the bathroom every 15 minutes)
2) Not enough exercise. (Being in my wheelchair for a week with very limited walking).
3) Too many 1 or 0 point foods. (So it really wasn't only 1 point. WW has a funny way of counting points).

After getting home
1) Not enough food intake. (Long days away from the house where I could not take food and I wasn't going to eat their food.)
2) Not enough sleep. (Had my 2 year old grand daughter here and she screamed all night with nightmares.)
3) Not enough exercise (just trying to get my foot mediation at a level to control the pain. It is almost there)
4) Water weight (Sucking down tons of water from the lack of it on the trip and its HOT here).
Lesson learned. Watch out next week...

Nerves!

2010-06-30T15:07:00.000-07:00

Just can't get into the blog lately. Maybe it's due to the fact I am scared of my weigh in, cause I missed last week. (vacation) Even though I ate VERY wisely I am still nervous.

"Only having a few more pounds to lose is the hardest". I have heard that so much, that it is really scaring me. I am doubting my dedication in losing all my weight and not being happy no matter what size I get to.

I've heard from so many people on just how good I am looking, but when I see myself in photos I still see a fat girl. Will I ever be happy? And if I don't loose, like I think I should every week, I am worried I may just give up and never reach goal. Would that be something that I could live with? Probably not because I am not good at failure. Weigh in is tomorrow night. UGH!

I spend many hours trying to read all my followers blogs and hearing their struggles breaks my heart. I really have a hard time understanding some of their issues and it makes me realize that I am NOT the norm! My doctors and husband have been telling me that for years. But I just laughed at them til now.

My Vacation to California

2010-06-27T14:30:00.000-07:00

Mission Beach, CA

1st let me start by saying I had a blast! I loved the beach and everything about San Diego. We met our family friends, Tami and Scott, Sunday (Father's Day) at the beach. Where we had the time of our lives. The temps were fabulous and the water was fantastic. With my balance issues I needed a lot of help from Clay. I think I bruised his arm from holding on so tight. LOL The waves were strong and big. I actually went in a second time where I swam way out there and had a great time, but no one took any pictures of that:( Regardless Clay, Kayla and I had a great Father's Day at the beach. Enjoy the slide show. And yes those are my boobs..I sewed a Victoria Secrets bra in the suit so I had a cleavage...LOL I was really happy to see how I looked too.

Sea World Sky Tower Ride
The Sky Tower Ride is a view of the park and the surrounding bay. It went way up and rotated so you could see the full view. We went to Sea World where we met my NEW found BFF's (Vern & Vickie). I met them via my blog and it was the BEST thing that happened. Thank you Vickie for making our day at Sea World ROCK! We had so much fun there that we actually went back a second day. We didn't get to see everything the 1st trip and so we decided to skip the Wild Kingdom Zoo and go back to Sea World. So glad we did. Kayla's allergies get to her at the San Diego Zoo. So I thought the Wild Kingdom would have been too much for her.

Dolphins
Not many photos of the dolphins. I loved the Dolphin show but Kayla HAD to sit in the SOAK ZONE and I didn't want to get my camera wet. Hence very little pictures. And YES we got wet but not SOAKED. This was a fabulous show I wish they had a DVD of the show. It was called The Blue Horizons. I guess its a new show with lots of drivers and etc. Feeding the dolphins was an experience I will never forget. They are so darn cute.

Shark Exhibit, etc..
Ok I put photos of things that were cool but not enough to have its own slideshow. You will see our photos with the Sea World characters, the shark exhibit along with the Wild Arctic Exhibit. They have a very cute Pet show that was adorable too. My favorite Wild Arctic animal was the Beluga Whales. They were so fun to watch. And of course Kayla is always looking for a perfect photo moment. LOL

The Shamu Show
This was hands down the best. We bought the DVD and have watched it already. The trainers don't get in the tank anymore but they put on an awesome show. I saw it in the SOAK ZONE and then again up high so I could get some good photos. I hope you enjoy this show.

Sea Lion Show
I never knew they could be so smart. Great show and awesome trainers.

Cirque de la Mer Show
This show is creatures from the fantasy land of Amphibia and they entertain you with extreme acrobatics. They are way strong and fun to watch.

I had more places that we visited on our vacation but this was my highlights. We visited 2 other beaches, the San Diego Zoo, Old Town, the LDS Mormon temple, and did tons of shopping. I bought a beautiful coral ring and too many tee shirts along with coffee mugs. On the way to CA we stayed at my cousin and visited Zions National Park. On the way home we stayed in Vegas. Where we rode the rides at the top of the Stratosphere (my all time rides), saw the Bellagio fountains (I was looking for George Clooney but no luck), the Mirage Volcano, and the Treasure Islands show to name a few. All in all the trip was the best! I want to move to San Diego really bad but the reality is we can't afford the homes out there. So it will be the vacation spot to be at, as often as we can go. I hope I didn't waste your time by posting all these slide shows but I didn't even add ALL the picture we took.

I need your advise...

2010-06-27T11:35:00.000-07:00

I am home safe and sound. I have a question for my followers. There are so many different ways that I could share my vacation photos. Should I do separate slide shows for each event, like the beach, zoo, Sea World, etc. OR just 1 slide show OR selective photos (which will be hard for me to choose from) I took hundreds of the whole trip. Please help me decide. Vote on your preference. Thank you,

I will miss you SOOOO much....

2010-06-17T12:44:00.000-07:00

We are leaving tomorrow at noon for California. I am way excited but I will be missing my computer for that week. I don't have a laptop so no blogging for me:( No reading other's blogs or nothing...Boo Hoo! While I am gone I would kindly ask that NONE of you write ANYTHING fun or interesting til I get back.

We will be going to San Diego for the 1st time. I have everything packed and ready to go. I spent hours yesterday weighing/measuring all my healthy foods and putting them in baggies with the point values written on it. I am being prepared for success and I am determined NOT to gain ANY weight this week. I will be taking lots of pictures so until then this is the best I could find.

I will be going to Sea World with a WW blogger that I met from my blog a few months ago. I am way excited to finally meet her and her family. Here we come Vickie! I hope you are ready to have some fun.

So please remember don't blog about ANYTHING funny or fantastic while I am away.

I will be reading my last blogs tonight, so hurry and write what you want before I go. LOL

My weekend concert.

2010-06-14T11:37:00.000-07:00

This is an update of my weekend event. We went to an outdoor concert for 11 hours in the rain. Because we could not bring in any food I was stuck with the vendors had. I think I made the best choices. I had a $9.00 salad with chicken and salsa, popcorn (non buttered) a pretzel and 2 hot chocolates. I smuggled my water in. That was my whole calorie in take for the day. I know really low but I wasn't hungry. But I danced my butt off at the concert, if that counts for anything. Even with my foot hurting I was up and moving.

I took my daughter, Kayla, 2 of my dear friends, Heidi & Ray, and I drug my hubby along too. Kayla made out like crazy. She won 2 tee shirts, got to touch Eddie Montgomery, autographs from Emily West and the John Singleton band, caught Eli Young's guitar pick and ate tons of food. It was a very cold and a very wet day but totally worth it.

Did I mention
I LOVE Country Music!

My magic number...

2010-06-11T08:46:00.000-07:00

Weighed in last night, and I lost 2 pounds! Hurray for me. BUT I am still at the darn SIXTY number. I can't believe it is taking so loooong to get past that stupid number. Only .2 pounds to get past the 60's. UGH! But it maybe my lucky number cause when I logged into my blog this morning I noticed I had 60 followers. Hurray for me again! And what's up with this weather out here. It's June 11th on the temps are in the, you guessed it, 60's! I have a HUGE country concert tomorrow too and it's outdoors. Calling for colder weather and thunderstorms. Maybe it will rain meatballs...

I know I can do it. I am feeling better about myself. I will get past this magic number of 60. Hurry someone join my blog as a follower and maybe the curse will be lifted. LOL

Another news flash is my FOOT IS NOT BROKEN!!! I know Stupid HUH! Let me explain. Reader's Digest version is~I got a second opinion yesterday from an Orthopedic Surgeon not just a Podiatrists. And he looked at the MRI and said he saw nothing that resembled a break old or new. He thinks I have a pinched nerve in my ankle that is causing the pain to my heel (referred pain). When I stand my right foot rolls in and is causing the nerve pain. So next step is to get fitted with special orthoptedic inserts and see if that corrects it. So I feel like a human Ginnie Pig! Wish me luck.

Who knew....?

2010-06-10T07:43:00.000-07:00

I went shopping!!! I normally HATE shopping for myself cause there isn't any cute clothes in my size. But NOT today! I can even shop in the Juniors now. Who knew!!! I bought my very first size 12 pants and my shirt is a large. To update you with my old size I was a 22 and I liked my shirts to be baggy (1 to hide the rolls of fat, 2 to hide the fact I had no boobs). So the shirt sizes were 2X.

You can probably imagine how excited I was to wear a size 12. 12 in Women's that is. In juniors I wear a 15. I like the low rise jean fit and I only found them in juniors but a size 15 is hard to find so I am still shopping in the women's today. I need a cute outfit to go on our trip next week to San Diego, CA. So I bought a few shirts and these white pants.
Notice my right foot is up off the ground. It was hurting so bad. So I didn't last very long before I had to go back in and sit down. I like the fact I have an hour glass shape (well kind of) unlike my pear shape before the weight loss and new boobs. Still not happy with my appearance and I hope I will be once I lose another 19 pounds and reach my goal. My gut/butt is too big still I think. Anyway I am liking the new look enough to get my picture taken. My daughter and her silly poses...(I am not going to post those).

The RUT!

2010-06-09T08:15:00.000-07:00

I haven't been in a blogging mood for a few days now for a couple of reasons. I am stuck at 160 and it seems like I will NEVER get past it. My health issues are not like they were when I started WW. (they are worse, not due to the weight loss)

So I am not able to cook all these yummy meals or track like a maniac like I used too. Moving around is painful and I am depressed over it too. (still trying to get my exercise in but not as much as I want) Just as I was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, someone shuts the door. My pants are not getting any baggier either. I know as I get closer to goal it will go slower but that just doesn't sit well in my controlling lifestyle. (and I AM NOT patient!)

I gained last Thursday and I was okay with it BUT if I gain 2 weeks in a row I fear I will give up and just say the HELL with it all. I have NOT eaten one thing that is unhealthy all this time. I read about all these blogger friends who are struggling with the foods they know they shouldn't be eating. And I think WOW, I am so lucky that I am not tempted to do that but then I still am not losing. Where's the logic in that? I am not over eating and I feel I am getting enough calories in a day. Just not as active and I can not control that.

So I am stuck in a BIG RUT. On a happier note that goes sad in seconds...I love my new boobs but not feeling the love from hubby over them. BOO HOO...*sob*

Not looking forward to my weigh in tomorrow. I have a second opinion with an Orthopedic Surgern tomorrow too. Maybe I will start to understand how I can get this 15 year old foot fracture to heal. Going to Physical Therapy to stretch the archilles tendon, so it will stop pulling my bone apart, when I try to walk. I am so sick of this I could scream...I am no longer wearing the boot. They said it will NOT heal and surgery will NOT work so in a nut shell I am supposed to "JUST WOMEN UP!" and deal with the pain of walking with a fractured heel. Hence the second opinion. IDIOTS!!!!!

Just know I READ ALL your post and comment when the urge is felt to say something. You all are keeping me focused and thanks for your support. I have the BEST BLOGGER family alive.

ooh la la....

2010-06-06T14:55:00.000-07:00

Well for those of you that have been following my IBTC post, this is the option I chose. Went shopping at Victoria Secret and bought 2 new bras. 1 was the Miraculous Bra and the other was the natural push up with extra padding. The 2 cost $112.00 which is way cheaper then the alternative solution. And I TOTALLY love my new BOOBS! I would take a picture of my new cleavage but I didn't feel like that was very appropriate or modest. But I WILL tell you that my hubby REALLY likes them and that made me very happy. I love the whole VALIDATION thing...

So my daughter took these pictures for me. She was so cute. You should have seen her eyes, when I came out of my room with my new boobs. She hurried and grabbed the camera and started having me do these really funny poses. She turned to my hubby and said "You are SOOOO lucky to have a wife that looks like THAT. You could be married to ....." (that .... was a not so cute person). Remember she is only 11. Kids and the funny things they say. LOL

This was a pose she picked for me to post. NOT my idea.

If I had to say anything about this experience it would be

IT WAS THE BEST $112.00 I HAVE EVER SPENT!

I DID IT!

2010-06-05T20:13:00.000-07:00

I rode my trike to the West Jordan Park, where I met up with lots of WW members and their friends and family. We were doing a 5K Walk for fitness together to get people out and moving. I got special permission to ride my trike and my husband and 11 year daughter rode with me. There aren't many other people in these pictures cause I rode on the road that went around the park and the others walked on the sidewalk. My daughter rode in the basket most of the time. Then she would jump out on take a few pictures, running up ahead to catch a shot.

The ride to the park was a mile one way so the total ride was 5.2 miles. The sun was shining so it was pretty hot too. I had a lot of fun with my family and it was way cool to do the 5K. (even with a broken foot). This is the first time I have ever did any sort of a K walk/rode. So cool!

My daughter in the basket.

Getting ready to start.

Riding along with my hubby.

True determination riding up the last hill at the end of the 5K.

I just crossed the finish line.

I made it!

My certificate.

What a FANTASTIC day!

less food=weight gain?

2010-06-05T07:42:00.000-07:00

I am not understanding why if losing weight is a simple math formula. "In order to have a loss you need to create a calorie deficit. Meaning less food in and more activity causes weight loss." Then WHY when I don't eat and I exercise my butt off, I am not losing? (I mean don't get me wrong I have lost 50 pounds.) But with that math formula I should be losing way faster and more. Just saying. Doesn't make sense to me but oh well. Just another mystery.

part 2 of IBTC post.

2010-06-04T10:26:00.000-07:00

I sure got a lot of comments on my Itty Bitty Titty Committy blog post. Thank you for all your comments. As a follow up to that post I thought I would add this. I wasn't going to go there but I thought I needed my cyber friends to understand me better. So here it goes: Caution...TMI ahead.

A few weeks ago my husband informed me that he really likes to see a good pair of boobs. Not big ones just like a size C with a cleavage. WOW...Are you kidding me! We have been married 15 years and I never knew that. I have always had issues with mine but it wasn't a BAD issue til NOW. Sure I have discussed the thought of getting a boob job, but with my MS the doctors would not consider me, so I stopped stressing about it.

Sure my intimacy life has been affected, from my MS over the 10 years, but I understood that it wasn't anything I could do about it. So I plugged along anyway. He really never made me feel unattractive but again "How could he find me attractive at the size I was at?" I didn't, so why would he. We really never talked about it but it was an unspoken understanding that we both were struggling with. Just as I was starting to get my self esteem back, (losing 50 pounds) I had a slap hit me in the face. "Where did my boobs go?" "They were there just yesterday"And then the new info about my husband's interest in the cleavage..UGH!

I know what you are all saying that I should not let that affect my self esteem. But that is easier said than done. My husband is my biggest supporter and I love him dearly. So pleasing him is a big thing to me. A very good friend brought to my attention, "that after I get a boob job done, will that make everything better? What if he starts loving you A LOT more and can't keep his hands off you? Isn't he in a lose-lose situation?" Yep he sure is! So I don't think I will be getting a boob job. I have been researching bras that Victoria Secret has that will help with the cleavage. Haven't tried yet but I am hopeful. My fear is you have to have something there to be able to create a cleavage. VS really has it's work cut out with me. So as long as he makes me feel good when the bra comes off I can handle the fake ones with the bra on.(cheaper too) And I think I need to see a therapist also. Just another day in my screwed up life!

P.S. PLEASE PLEASE do not trash my hubby. I love him too much to hear mean things. Just support me, OK?

Itty Bitty Titty Committy...

2010-06-03T06:44:00.000-07:00

I am going to go out on a limb here, even out of my comfort zone. But here I go. I was never blessed as a women to have big boobs. The only time I can remember being happy with my bra size was when I was breast feeding my son and that was short lived cause I didn't like it. (not the boobs, the feeding)

Even in school I was in a group called Itty Bitty Titty Committy. Short we called it IBTC. I think I was the president. I have always wanted the boobs and I was so jealous of my friends who had them. So I was not only fat but I had tiny boobs. Not a good combo.

So last night I was getting my night gown on and it really was an eye opener. Not only was this nighty too big but it was WAY too big at the top. I just sat there and stared in the mirror. I was in so much shock I didn't even know what to say. Then reality hit and I knew I was doomed. YEP my boobs were gone. I mean really gone. I don't even think a training bra would do me justice. I even compared them to my husband's and I am pretty sure his are bigger.

WHY!!! WHY!!! I didn't want my boobs to lose any weight...Too late now. So I talked to my hubby about getting a boob job when I get to goal. He said it was up to me but I think it wouldn't take much convincing for him to pay for them. My reward for losing the weight was going to be a trip to Hawaii. Now I am rethinking the whole thing. Lets see Hawaii? or Boobs? (no brainier) If I can find a doctor who will be willing to do it, with me having MS, then I think I will. I think a size C would be a dream!

Then there is the pain and not being able to lay on my tummy for 6 weeks. I am a tummy sleeper so that will be hard for me. And it crossed my mind that I will be 50 in February. Am I too old to have a boob job? My life is like 1/2 over so why worry about them now? So many thoughts going through my head.

So right before I cried myself to sleep, my hubby said "IF you decide to get them, you need to ask how much they weigh, so you aren't going to freak out at the scales." What a thing to think about. How funny. I think THAT weight gain would be OK with me. But he has a point. Decisions so many decisions..

Obese?

2010-06-02T06:57:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought I was making progress I find I am still considered OBESE. I found out my body fat for my age, height and gender is in the category of being obese. So I am in a really bad mood and not sure what to do about it. Will I ever be OK with my self image? At least when I weighed 200 plus I KNEW I was obese, but it is a real blow to hear that at a size 13 I am still obese. So will I ever be OK with my body? Probably not...this sucks!

My butt groove..

2010-06-01T07:38:00.000-07:00

My life is very boring right now. Doing the same thing everyday. Getting really tired of it too. So yesterday I decided I was NOT going to just sit in my assigned seat with my foot up in the air. I asked my hubby to get my tricycle down from the rafters in the garage and hook my foot up on the pedal. So he did. Surprisingly enough I was able to go for a 3 mile bike ride around the neighborhood. The weather was over cast and windy so it was a bit different then riding my exercise bike in my dining room. I even went for a little ride on his Harley. That was a bit painful though. The vibration of the bike irritated my foot. So I think I will pass on that one next time.

I got a lot of strange looks as I rode past the people outside. I guess it did look funny with my BIG boot tied to the bike pedal or even on the Harley. It felt really good to get outside and even more to ride my tricycle. My goal this summer was to be able to ride the new 2 wheel bike that I got for Mother's day. But then when my foot became an issue, that goal went out the door. BUT I will someday get on that bike and learn to ride it.

My balance is very unstable from my MS but I was getting better so I know I will again after my fracture heals. For those of you that had not heard, my heel has a very bad fracture and the MRI showed that it was an old one that never healed. Having no feeling in my feet for so many years, I am not surprised that I had no idea that I had broke it. But the chances of it healing on its own is slim. I may have to get it re-broke or what they call "micro fractures" to allow it to heal. This is NOT what I wanted to hear. Being as active as I have the last few months re-injured that fracture. I guess walking barefoot on the treadmill, exercise bike and even basketball was not smart. I go back to the surgeon next Monday to see what he thinks the next move should be.

Anyway it was exciting to get out and at least feel like I am not just taking up space. The weather has turned bad again so I wont be going out today. I will be back in my assigned seat, where I have formed a very nice butt groove by the way. UGH!

addiction?

2010-05-29T12:04:00.000-07:00

Addiction, what does that mean? Addiction is a dependence on a behavior or sub-stance that a person is powerless to stop. There are so many things that a person can be addicted to. Too many to name. There are bad things and even good things that are addicting. So why am I blogging about this you may ask? Well let me begin with this.

I have always thought that I do not have an addictive personality. My children on the other hand do. My past behaviors have made me think that way. I smoked for a very short time and then just STOPPED. I did cocaine and then STOPPED. I drank then STOPPED. It seemed to me that it was very easy for me to STOP something that I witnessed in others to have a very hard time STOPPING. Hence the non-addictive personality conclusion.

I really never was an OVER eater just a poor eater. So when I decided to STOP with the bad eating I thought this will be like the other habits and I will just STOP. And I did! I do not struggle with having bad foods in the house. I just STOPPED. I have not been on a diet before yet I have had issues with being fat my whole life. It was not a priority to lose the weight so I never did. I don't expect everyone to understand or even feel sorry for me. Just wanted to give you some insight in my life. I guess I allowed my health issues to become a bigger priority than me losing the weight.

So now the root of this post today! Yesterday I made a decision to have my husband put the scales WAY up high so I would not be able to get them. He did that and I was happy for a minute. Then this overwhelming feeling came over me that I had not felt before. I couldn't put my finger on it but I knew it was not normal for me. I tried to put it out of my head and focused on other things. Out of sight out of mind. But every time I stepped in the bathroom (where the scales used to be) that feeling came back. "Is this an addiction that I am feeling?"

I pondered on that for the evening and I had dreams about those SCALES all night. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I so DID NOT want to have an addiction! All these years I have been telling myself that I did not have THAT personality. So what is actually going on? It could be worse I guess. I could have a lot of other things to be addicted to. So if putting the scales away caused my whole personality to turn ugly. (0 to BITCH in .5 seconds)Then I want them back.

He took the scales down I weighed myself and immediately I felt better. YEP I am addicted! But I understand the whole body fluctuation and the don't just measure your success on the scales. I only am using the scales as a way to keep me focused on the big picture. I would hate to go a whole week and then see I really screwed up. I NEED to know on a daily basis that I am on track and I am doing ok. So the scales are not my enemy (bad) they are my friend (good).

What a break through for me today. Like I mention at the beginning there are 2 types of addictions. Bad for you and GOOD for you. OK this is my story and I am sticking to it!

The point...

2010-05-28T07:46:00.000-07:00

I just looked at my WW log and saw it is taking me longer to lose 5 pounds. I have been hitting the 5 pound loss on an average of every 3 weeks. But this last 5 took 5 weeks. It scares me to think it will even take longer to lose the smaller I get. I guess I will really need lots of peep talks to NOT get discouraged in reaching my goal. I hear the words but I need to really understand them. I need to be OK with it and NOT give up. I hear so many people just give up when they reach this point. But my thought is this is the POINT OF NO RETURN! (sorry the clip uploaded really big for some reason)

I love, love, love this movie. And even though the video has NOTHING to do with weight loss, it does tie into my theme of NO RETURN....enjoy.

Hip Hip Hurray!

2010-05-27T18:32:00.000-07:00

When I started this journey last Oct I just wanted to lose 50 pounds. That was something that I thought I would never do. It was just a dream. See being in a wheelchair for 14 plus years, I had made it a fact in my mind that I could not loss weight. Not being able to walk, let alone exercise, meant I could not lose the weight. I was told for years that you have to exercise in order to lose weight. So I let myself believe I was doomed to be fat.

So after I had my brain surgery and I started to get more mobile, I set my mind with this idea to just try it, what do I have to lose right? I joined WW and as I listened to the program I thought "hey, I can do this. I don't have to exercise." And I was right for the first 16 weeks I DID NOT EXERCISE whatsoever. And I dropped 22 pounds. Wow I thought I have passed the exercise test so now lets see if I can lose even more if I try to do some type of exercise. I know it wasn't going to be a 5k or an early morning stroll around the block. But I could ride the exercise bike. When I started I was barely able to do 3 minutes worth or 1 mile.

I am very stubborn and I was not about to let this bike beat me. So I pressed really hard everyday. I was so excited when I was able to ride 10 minutes. So can you guess how I felt when I rode 15 miles in 70 minutes. Yep that's what I got up to till....(the foot injury). I am slowly working back up even with the boot on. Rode 7.5 just yesterday.

Anyway the story behind this blog post is....

50 pounds gone...I still have some more to lose, since I lowered my end goal to a lower weight. I just can't get enough of this...NOT! Really its the fact I have a mirror and I don't like what I see yet. Maybe I will never be happy with that mirror but I am loving the ride getting there. So very happy and proud that I did it!

Blog Hop post

2010-05-27T06:47:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my tour. Here are the questions I was asked to answer. Because I am limited to the account of time my foot can handle at the computer, this will be short and sweet.

1~Post a before picture.

2~Post your most current after picture. Actually I have lost 15 more pounds since this photo.

3~State the amount of weight you've lost. 50 pounds.

4~If you are on a specific eating/exercise plan, what is it? I am doing WW. And I ride the exercise bike everyday most of the time for at least 45 minutes.

5~What is your favorite healthy snack? (share a pic if you have one) Skinny cow ice cream sandwiches.

6~What is the biggest life lesson you’ve learned on your journey? If I set my mind to something I can do it.

7~What is the biggest strength you’ve discovered about yourself? I have a will power. And I am not addicted to food.

8~What has been your toughest struggle? The number on the scales. And not being able to walk/run because of my MS.

9~Who has been your biggest supporter and why? My husband who always is so willing to fix my meals and reminds me that I need to eat.

10~When you get to goal, what will you do next? Hopefully I will have learned that I can eat like this forever and I wont have to track everyday. Go on a trip as a reward to celebrate my victory. I think we are going to Hawaii.

11~What do you wish someone had told you when you first began? That I would be required to eat even if I wasn't hungry.

12~Share any other words of wisdom you want to share. Sometimes even if you think you have done everything right the weight will not show on the scales but will in your clothes.

13. MOST IMPORTANT: At the end of your post, link to Karen from http://www.muffinfixation.blogspot.com/ .

Step away from the scales!

2010-05-26T10:38:00.000-07:00

I don't think there has been NOT ONE blog that I have read that doesn't struggle with that STUPID scale! So it brings me comfort to know I AM NOT CRAZY OR ALONE. I weigh myself everyday (most the time twice).

My poor husband has to hear me yell out the number from the bathroom. And if it is a good reading he gets the pleasure of seeing me do my "I lost victory dance". But then there are the times he has to see the tears and frustration of "OMG are you kidding me, I was lighter JUST yesterday, WTF!". Having my OFFICIAL weigh in on Thursday always brings me anxiety the few days prior. It seems on Sundays I weigh my lightest and then it slowly creeps up to a number higher than I want by Thursday. I still, almost always, seem to have a loss but not like on Sunday.

So the saying in my house is "STEP AWAY FROM THE SCALES!" So why don't I do it? I wish I had the answer. But as long as the number is going down its all good. But if I weighed in on Sunday it would be even better....UGH!

My Sunshine award.

2010-05-25T09:34:00.001-07:00

This is my second blog post today, please don't skip over my one from this morning. Its one of my favorites. It's the 7 things about me that you don't know. Now for this one.Thanking Anne @ http://smallerfunpants.blogspot.com/ for this cool award. I read her blog everyday along with her many other followers. I keep coming back to her blog for the genuine words she writes about. How she is real and has an incredible success on the weight she has lost. She is only 1/2 way there but with her determination I know she will do it. I love reading her recipes and food choices and even hearing about her exercise successes. Thank you again Anne.

Getting this awards is like a chain letter. I just got through doing one yesterday and now I am asked to do another one. Since I am supposed to "pay it forward" to 12 bloggers. I first went to their blog and searched for this award before I sent it so I hope if you haven't already received it this is new I hope.

I would love just to name the blogs that I follow and move on, but that just doesn't do them justice in my book.

1. Silvia @http://bigsteps2take.blogspot.com/, She is fighting Type II Diabetes and is doing an incredible job at staying focused to her weight loss program and exercise. Her starting weight is at a low number but she is doing this in my mind to get healthier and I applaud her for that.

2. Lisa @http://nomoredietdrama.blogspot.com/, she is like a walking encyclopedia to me. She takes the time to research her information. She knews what she wants and is willing to do what it takes to get her there. Plus she lives in FL which I am jealous of...LOL

3. Katy @http://projectlookgoodnaked.blogspot.com/, we share the same goals and she is so thoughtful to others. Which I find to be a great quality in this negative world. We need speak kind words and help boost others up on this roller coaster of a ride we call life.

4. Helen @http://doingaone-eighty.blogspot.com/, she is a fantastic inspiration to me. She is fighting a thyroid problem and still enjoys running. I am jealous of her constant strength to fight through this.

5. Genie @http://dietof51.blogspot.com/, we share the same age of generation. Losing weight at the good ole age of 50 plus is no easy task. I like to hear her struggles so I don't feel so weird and alone.

6. Jams @http://jams-runs-her-mouth.blogspot.com/, she was one of my 1st blogs that I folowed. Seeing her before and after picures gave me hope that I can do this. She is an exercise junking and I have grown to love her excitement.

7. Karen @http://waistingtimeblog.com/, surprisingly I have found Karen to be a strong example to me. Surprisingly is because I am learning from her that the size of a person is not the important thing. We need to love ourselves no matter what size we are.

8. Ana @http://veganana1.blogspot.com/, love, love, love her goal setting ideas. It keeps me focused on the long goal. These mini goals are very important and I have learned that from Ana.

9. Vickie @http://vernswifevickie.blogspot.com/, I just love Vickie. I look forward to meeting her when I go to CA. She is kind and her photos are great too. As a visual person such as I , I enjoy the pictures that she takes the time to do.

10. Traci @http://tracitreasures.blogspot.com/, she is a young mom (young to me) and you can just tell from her blog that she adores being a mom and wants to do this journey not only for herself but her family. Such a sweet girl.

11. Tori @http://adayinthelifeoffredbird.blogspot.com/,I was impressed by her comments that she leaves on my blog. It seems like she already has met me. Knowing that she takes the time to read my words and then comments is a great feeling.

12. TaDa @http://caloriecountfood.blogspot.com/, Again we have so much in common and I know when I read her blog it some how fits into my life. Its like the Lord knew to put us as blogger friends. I hope some day to meet her and just give her the biggest hug that she so deserves from me.

Now TAG your IT!!!!!

The rest of the story.

2010-05-25T06:54:00.000-07:00

When I received the beautiful blogger award I was not aware that I needed to post 7 things you didn't know about me. So here it goes.

1~Went to Alaska last summer, where my dad lives, and stayed on his boat for a few days. While I was there I saw so many wonderful things. I have over 700 pictures of my trip so I will not be uploading them all just a few of the highlights.

The midnight sun
whales
Orca Porpoises
Sea lions
gold mining
drank and ate glazier ice right out of the ocean
caught shrimp
saw a moose
reindeer
saw the pipeline up close and personal
watched husky pups get trained to become sled dogs eagles, Muskox, Sea otters, visited Santa's house at the North Pole, river boat ride, sharks swimming right next to the boat...just to name a few.

But the most exciting thing about the trip is I caught and pulled in a 45 pound halibut. That's right I said 45 pounds!

2~My favorite ride at a amazement park is The rocket or the feeling of being shot up in the air. I love the rides at the top of the Vegas Stratosphere.The guy in this picture is a friend, cause my husband was too cheap to buy a ticket to ride it...(I really think he was too scared, but I am not going to tell him that).

3~I had brain surgery 3 years ago to correct my health issues and get me off a medication that was killing my liver.

4~ I love, love, love country music and concerts, I have seen 100's of them and Even had Garth Brooks wave to me in the crowds, Held Billy Dean's hand, Willie Nelson said hi to me over the mic from the stage, and that's just a few. And yes I have pictures but not going to bore you with them.

5~I was born and raised on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. Where I learned to have a love of the water. I miss the beach very much and hope to go back soon. I love the sun and everything that goes with it. The sun burn, the sandy beaches, the water sports...etc. I rode my 1st jet ski 2 years ago and I loved it other than the falling off part. LOL.So you ask why did I move to a state with mountains and snow? Good question.

6~I love cats but own a toy poodle. He is my constant companion while my husband is at work. We call him Gadget.

7~I am a big football fan. My favorite college team is the UTAH UTES. And I am a season ticket holder. I enjoy NFL too but spending the day at a game is the best!

Now you know a little bit more about me. Thanks for looking at a snippet of my life.

My Blog Award.

2010-05-24T08:14:00.000-07:00

Even though I am dealing with some challenges right now (family issues, health issues, etc...) I still have taken the time to read my daily blogs and when I opened Katy's this morning this is what I found. What a great way to lift someones spirits. Thank you I needed this.

I am so touched that someone would think of me as a beautiful blogger. I have never been beautiful at anything that I can remember. So this is extra special to me thank you Katy@http://projectlookgoodnaked.blogspot.com.

Now I need to pass it to 7 other people. These are NOT in any order just in the order of remembrance in my mind. It was hard to just name 7 cause I have so many that are deserving of it. So here I go:

1~Sam@http://believeinyourself1.blogspot.com. I love her blog and her words are so up lifting. She is very spiritual and down to earth. I get to see her every Thursday at our weekly WW weigh in meetings. I can relate to her on so many levels. I know if you read her blog you will too.

2~John@http://taking-it-off-for-life.blogspot.com. He is a short and sweet blogger. Sometimes its the small words that we need to hear. Not the lengthy paragraphs that so many of us write. In this busy world we live in who really has time to write a lot and then read everybody's blogs? John is funny and yet down to earth. He takes the time to leave sweet up lifting comments on my blog. If you go and visit his blog you will see what an amazing person he is. He has a long journey but I know he will make it!

3~Quay@http://thefatandthinofit.blogspot.com. Where do I begin with this sweet lady! I continue to read or follow her because she is REAL! She has a sense of humor that will actually make you laugh at loud not just LOL. (there is a difference if you were wondering) Such an incredible ride in her journey to lose weigh. She is a constant reminder to me that we need to look at our inner beauty and be proud of ourselves. Thank you Quay.

4~Julie@http://wwwjulielopez3.blogspot.com. If you ever need a pep talk just go visit Julie. She is an exercise maniac. She constantly shocks me with her energy level. She makes me jealous of her abilities to conquer. She inspires me to press forward with my goals. Thank you Julie for being such a great leader.

5~Celeste@http://289andcountingdown.blogspot.com. She is a new follower that I read everyday. I learned of her on the TV. (So shes a movie star) She has such a long journey but has incredible strength and determination to get to her goal. Putting it all out there for the world to see on national TV had to be so scary and hard. Her blog is very pretty to read and look at, as a scrapbooker I can appreciate the work. Go pop over and support her on her weight loss journey.

6~Kris@http://wwkris.blogspot.com. With out Kris I would not be here. She is my WW leader and encouraged her members to start a blog at our accountability meeting. Who knew I would be so inspired to blog about my weight? Because of Kris I have met a lot of very special people. I don't think you can ever have too many supporters. She post some very yummy and healthy recipes on her blog. Due to her time being used up as a leader, she doesn't post everyday. But what she does post are things that we as followers can use in our lives forever. Thank you Kris for being such a great Weight Watcher's leader.

7~TaDa@http://caloriecountfood.blogspot.com. And I CAN NOT forget about this blogger. I posted a post that I received several heart warming hugs on. But she offered her time and ears and sent me her email (a complete stranger too) as an extra source of comfort. I read her blog everyday and am so grateful for her kind words. Knowing that someone REALLY cares and has opened the lines of communication, to more than just the public forum of the blogging world, meant a lot to me. Thank you so much for leaned your ear to me. I love the foods that she post and she keeps it real with admitting she not perfect either. Her blog is bright and easy on the eyes. (plus she is from FL, a place I always want to go someday)

Now if you see your name/blog listed here copy the award to your computer and add it to your blog. Make sure you make it a permanent photo so everyone can see you are a

BEAUTIFUL BLOGGER!

Smile!

Break time.

2010-05-21T11:58:00.000-07:00

Going through a REALLY REALLY difficult time right now. I woke up to something that has stopped my world in its tracks! My world will be different as I knew it from this moment on. I could just throw the towel in and say the HELL with everything: my diet, my marriage, my religion, my family, etc. But I am much too strong and I WILL NOT do that to myself or the ones who love me.

The reason I say this is because my mind is racing and I will probably need some healing time away from the blogging world for awhile. Just know this is temporary and I will be back. Later...

I am the biggest CRY baby!

2010-05-20T18:31:00.000-07:00

Here's for my readers who are wondering how it went tonight. Well I CRIED!! Not once but twice. Let me tell you why and then you might understand better.

A couple of weeks ago I had my leader weigh my boot separately, so I would not have to take it off every week. I thought that was a great idea. So I needed a chair to sit on while I removed my other shoe (leaving my boot on). After I got on the scales she said "OK Lesia are you going to be OK with a gain?"(she knows how emotional I get)and I sad "Why did I gain?" then I heard a "Yes". I asked how much and she told me 1.6 pounds. I quietly put my shoe back on and hopped to me seat. I TRIED really hard NOT to cry but I started thinking...
~I tried really hard NOT to eat anything unhealthy.
~I stayed way below my points.
~I even rode my exercise bike 4 miles with the boot on today.
~I have at least 6-8 more weeks of this boot thing.
~If this is how its going to be then why even try?
~What will my family think.
~Why do I put myself through ALL this.
And then the support hugs came from my WW friends. Thank you Quay. And the tears welled up in my eyes and it just happened. (I am not a cry baby either but this weight thing really gets to me).

After a few minutes I thought:

"WAIT A DAMN MINUTE! This can't be right can it?"

So I asked a girl I was sitting next to if she would go and ask the leader for me, "if she remembered to minus the weight of the boot?" I watched from my seat as the leader told her "OH CRAP I FORGOT SORRY".

Are you kidding me! I was crying for nothing!

Now I was crying for a totally different reason. This time it was from being over joyed that I wasn't a failure and I can do this.

So after it was all said and done I had a loss of 1.2! Now I only have 1 MORE POUND before I hit the magic 50 pound marker.

I CAN DO THIS!

Breathe!

2010-05-20T10:21:00.000-07:00

Weigh in is tonight. I am always over stressed on Thursdays. My anxiety is really high.
I hate the wait to see if I have lost anything.
I hate the fact that the scales don't always show me all the hard work I put in for the week.
I hate the feeling of failure.
I hate not having the control of the outcome.

But this week I am really frustrated. I am AWARE of my errors of the week and can't do anything about it. This time I am completely and sadly at the mercy of the "Scale Goddess."

I am going to accept the number on the scale and NOT cry about it.

(at least not in front of anyone there). That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Lets reflect for a minute....My errors this week (and will be for several more weeks so I better get used to it) are:
1~Not getting enough food in my body. (not on purpose either) Just is hard to move and cook with crutches. Plus it hurts to not have my foot elevated for any period of time.
2~Not tracking.
3~Not exercising.
4~Just getting off steroids.
5~Not getting my healthy foods in. (like my oils, protein, vegs, dairy...etc)
6~Not getting enough water to drink.

On a good note:
I haven't eaten anything that was not healthy.
My clothes feel looser.
I have been reading lots of blogs for support.
Going to the doctors to speed this injury along.
I haven't forgot the skills that I have learn over the course of 7 months.

But MOSTLY I am NOT giving up!

Just need to stay strong and remember THIS TOO WILL PASS!

Jiggling.

2010-05-19T10:31:00.000-07:00

This may sound really weird, but I don't like having my loose fat/skin not being supported by tight fitted pants. Not over tight, just enough to act as a girdle but without the girdle. Now all my pants are getting too lose and I feel the fat jiggling when I walk. UGH! Hate that...Just saying:(

Can't win for losing.

2010-05-18T09:19:00.000-07:00

So last month, April 13th to be exact, I went clothes shopping. See earlier blog and photo here
It hasn't been nice enough weather to wear a lot of the items I bought. So they have been sitting in my closet with the tags still on them, just waiting to be worn.

Even though the weather today here in Utah is wet and rainy, I wanted to wear one of my new (well new for me) capri pants. With this cast on my leg it makes it hard to be comfortable with long pants. So I tore off the tag. Now mind you I bought these pants a little snug cause it wasn't warm enough to wear them back in April. And I was taking in the fact that I was still losing.

OMG~are you kidding me? They are too big now. You would think I should be so excited and want to jump up and down. But NO, I was a little bit disappointed. I really liked the clothes that I spent hours going through at the thrift store. I am glad I didn't pay a lot for them since I will not be wearing them. But now I don't have any clothes that fit again. UGH....Have you tried trying on clothes, especially pants, with a BIG ole cast/boot on? Not fun! So until I get this off or until it doesn't hurt to remove the boot, I guess I will be wearing saggy britches...

I thought I was doing a good thing by shopping early and having them fit tight at the time. Hence the title "Can't win for losing". Time to shop again ...UGH!

PS. Just goes to show you...

IT IS NOT JUST ABOUT THE NUMBER ON THE SCALES!