I sure got a lot of comments on my Itty Bitty Titty Committy blog post. Thank you for all your comments. As a follow up to that post I thought I would add this. I wasn't going to go there but I thought I needed my cyber friends to understand me better. So here it goes: Caution...TMI ahead.
A few weeks ago my husband informed me that he really likes to see a good pair of boobs. Not big ones just like a size C with a cleavage. WOW...Are you kidding me! We have been married 15 years and I never knew that. I have always had issues with mine but it wasn't a BAD issue til NOW. Sure I have discussed the thought of getting a boob job, but with my MS the doctors would not consider me, so I stopped stressing about it.
Sure my intimacy life has been affected, from my MS over the 10 years, but I understood that it wasn't anything I could do about it. So I plugged along anyway. He really never made me feel unattractive but again "How could he find me attractive at the size I was at?" I didn't, so why would he. We really never talked about it but it was an unspoken understanding that we both were struggling with. Just as I was starting to get my self esteem back, (losing 50 pounds) I had a slap hit me in the face. "Where did my boobs go?" "They were there just yesterday"And then the new info about my husband's interest in the cleavage..UGH!
I know what you are all saying that I should not let that affect my self esteem. But that is easier said than done. My husband is my biggest supporter and I love him dearly. So pleasing him is a big thing to me. A very good friend brought to my attention, "that after I get a boob job done, will that make everything better? What if he starts loving you A LOT more and can't keep his hands off you? Isn't he in a lose-lose situation?" Yep he sure is! So I don't think I will be getting a boob job. I have been researching bras that Victoria Secret has that will help with the cleavage. Haven't tried yet but I am hopeful. My fear is you have to have something there to be able to create a cleavage. VS really has it's work cut out with me. So as long as he makes me feel good when the bra comes off I can handle the fake ones with the bra on.(cheaper too) And I think I need to see a therapist also. Just another day in my screwed up life!
P.S. PLEASE PLEASE do not trash my hubby. I love him too much to hear mean things. Just support me, OK?