A few weeks ago my husband informed me that he really likes to see a good pair of boobs. Not big ones just like a size C with a cleavage. WOW...Are you kidding me! We have been married 15 years and I never knew that. I have always had issues with mine but it wasn't a BAD issue til NOW. Sure I have discussed the thought of getting a boob job, but with my MS the doctors would not consider me, so I stopped stressing about it.
Sure my intimacy life has been affected, from my MS over the 10 years, but I understood that it wasn't anything I could do about it. So I plugged along anyway. He really never made me feel unattractive but again "How could he find me attractive at the size I was at?" I didn't, so why would he. We really never talked about it but it was an unspoken understanding that we both were struggling with. Just as I was starting to get my self esteem back, (losing 50 pounds) I had a slap hit me in the face. "Where did my boobs go?" "They were there just yesterday"And then the new info about my husband's interest in the cleavage..UGH!
I know what you are all saying that I should not let that affect my self esteem. But that is easier said than done. My husband is my biggest supporter and I love him dearly. So pleasing him is a big thing to me. A very good friend brought to my attention, "that after I get a boob job done, will that make everything better? What if he starts loving you A LOT more and can't keep his hands off you? Isn't he in a lose-lose situation?" Yep he sure is! So I don't think I will be getting a boob job. I have been researching bras that Victoria Secret has that will help with the cleavage. Haven't tried yet but I am hopeful. My fear is you have to have something there to be able to create a cleavage. VS really has it's work cut out with me. So as long as he makes me feel good when the bra comes off I can handle the fake ones with the bra on.(cheaper too) And I think I need to see a therapist also. Just another day in my screwed up life!
P.S. PLEASE PLEASE do not trash my hubby. I love him too much to hear mean things. Just support me, OK?
praying for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteps- i love weight control oatmeal. i had read a lot of reviews on it that said it had a weird taste, but i love the taste! maple and brown sugar seems the sweetest. banana bread is good, too. the cinnamon i can take or leave, but it's still good!
Hey there,
ReplyDeleteFirst, I don't think I would trash your husband. He's a guy and they typically aren't that mean spirited - they just say what they're thinking at the time.
I challenge you to look at it differently perhaps. Like, isn't it great that your relationship is so strong that even after 15 years he can tell you something about him, about his desires, and that you all can have fun with it? Go - get a bra that will make you feel as sexy as you ARE.
Perhaps he waited until now to tell you because he could see that you were having more confidence in yourself - and THAT is sexy (to guys and girls).
I don't think that your boobs are bad (having never seen you). After all, they're just the ribbon on the package that IS YOU. That's the real treasure. If he didn't like the whole package, he sure as heck wouldn't have married one for just the ribbon.
You're fantastic, just as you are.
I encourage you to stop asking "why?" and to just accept it for what it is - your husband thinks that girls with boobs are good looking. It doesn't mean that he doesn't find you attractive, just that he ALSO finds boobs attractive.
Trust me, if he had known that this would've made you doubt yourself to this degree, he wouldn't have said it. It triggered a belief that YOU have about YOURSELF...which is that smaller boobs are less attractive. Work on THAT belief and his comment will be exactly what it was - just a comment - nothing more.
((hugs))
you are awesome! and you are you... and I love that you. :)
ReplyDeleteOh men...bless their hearts...they just don't know when to keep their thoughts in their heads...
ReplyDeleteI have a friend that got some great insert things that feel like real boobs if bumped etc....they look great. There are a lot of options out there.
Aww Big hug, Lesia!! You are such a loving wife to want to please him. :) I was thinking as I was reading your blog "just push them together." I'm glad you know what you want to do. I bet some of those bras could enhance that area for you real nicely.
ReplyDeleteYou are beautiful no matter what!! It's all about what makes YOU feel good. Sometimes it's hard to figure out what you need to feel great but if we were all "just perfect" life would be somewhat boring. ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd husbands...you gotta love 'em. My hubby went to the community pool with my son the other day. While he was there he was apparently hit on by some 20 something year old girls. When he rehashed the event he made sure that he told me the girls were "very well developed and in great shape." Thanks honey!! (I'm very confident in our relationship but I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy.) Haha....but they love us anyway!
I think it would be very hard to find a straight guy that isn't all about the boobs. You didn't make it sound like he was necessarily disappointed in your boobs, just that he likes bigger. You are looking so good from the 50 lb. loss, you are making him dream big! That could be interpreted as his support for you!
ReplyDeleteNonetheless, I support you!
A good bra and some "chicken fillet" inserts (sorry, that sounds gross, I just don;t know the real name for them!) should be the first stop.....make it a little fun for you both? Hugs.
ReplyDeleteI admit it - in the shower I have squeezed my itty bittys together... just imagining how different I could look. I know they make cutlets, I believe they are called, to add volume. BTW - I saw speculation in a magazine that Kate Hudson got a boob job.
ReplyDeleteHey Lesia,
ReplyDeleteYour boob dilemma inspired me to put up a post about shopping with my big-boobed best friend. It's not easy to find clothes for the busty. Check it out!
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000VSGPBO/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?ie=UTF8&cloe_id=b4bbe8d9-3fa2-40aa-a2b2-7b98758e3c58&attrMsgId=LPWidget-A2&pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B00024857E&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=0BJ9C8JCGABH0GX564RP
ReplyDeleteBam! There ya have 'em! Silicone bra inserts!
And anyone that knows you and your hubby also know that he loves you to bits. Little bits, big bits, and everything in between...
You'll have to copy and paste that web address. Sorry. No time for hyperlinking....
ReplyDeleteOMG Lesia!! I have huge old boobs and all I do is spill things on them!! But I know what you mean. I have thought about a boob job if my boobs turn into empty socks!! But, we will have to see eh? :D HANG (get it) in there!! *hugs*
ReplyDeleteMay I add my two cents... bully for your man for speaking so freely to you... He gets an A for communication... Try the cool water bra's my girlfriend had issues and she use to rave about them... My go left and right !
ReplyDeleteLesia, You are beautiful inside and out!! Hugs!
ReplyDelete