Wednesday, June 30, 2010


Just can't get into the blog lately. Maybe it's due to the fact I am scared of my weigh in, cause I missed last week. (vacation) Even though I ate VERY wisely I am still nervous.

"Only having a few more pounds to lose is the hardest". I have heard that so much, that it is really scaring me. I am doubting my dedication in losing all my weight and not being happy no matter what size I get to.

I've heard from so many people on just how good I am looking, but when I see myself in photos I still see a fat girl. Will I ever be happy? And if I don't loose, like I think I should every week, I am worried I may just give up and never reach goal. Would that be something that I could live with? Probably not because I am not good at failure. Weigh in is tomorrow night. UGH!

I spend many hours trying to read all my followers blogs and hearing their struggles breaks my heart. I really have a hard time understanding some of their issues and it makes me realize that I am NOT the norm! My doctors and husband have been telling me that for years. But I just laughed at them til now.


  1. It's never a pin-point on the map....
    For me it's an acceptable range...
    A place for me to live for the rest of my life....
    Happily, (hopefully) for now!

  2. Have some faith in yourself! You have come so far! But I do know what you mean. The other day my mom made a comment that I only have like 20 more lbs to lose. I thought she was crazy but when I was thinking about it she is pretty darn close. And then I thought too..."wow, 20 lbs...what if I get that weight off and I am still not happy with my midsection?" But I have done some thinking and I now KNOW that I will not be happy with it! I carried my daughter transverse (Side to side in there) until 36 weeks of my pregnancy. So...I am all stretched out and unless I have surgery its never going back. But...I have accepted that. I have made peace with it and I am still going for that 20 lbs more anyway.
    Keep up your good work, especially "behaving" while in vacation! You deserve an award for that one :)


  3. This may be a little bit of a controvertial comment, but I feel strongly about it. For me, happiness isn't being skinny. It isn't money. It isn't love, or having lots of things. It isn't security or family. Nope, for me it's none of those things. For me, happiness is a choice & faith. I choose to be happy, therefor I am. And sometimes I allow circumstances or consquences of my decisions to effect that choice, and I become unhappy. But what it boils down to, is choice. Does that mean that I don't find joy in my weight loss, or Mike, or my family? Of course not! But they can not make me happy, only I can do that. So, I would say to you Lesia, choose. Choose to be happy! Regardless of your success or failures, regardless of other factors. Choose to be happy because you want it, because you deserve it, because God loves you and wants it for you too. If you do that, you'll find that all these other things become so much more rich in your life. The weight loss - and how you view yourself, family, love, all of it! Try it!

    And just so you know, I've missed your posts!

  4. For me, it is harder the closer I get. BUT it is not that way for everyone and may not be for you. I also wonder if I will be happy at a certain weight. I think I can and will be. Even though in the past I was the weight that is now my goal yet wanted to lose a few more pounds then. One thing that strikes me is when you say "if I don't lose, like I think I should every week..." Unfortunately our bodies don't always cooperate, as you know, despite us doing everything right. Hang in there, be patient, celebrate how far you have already come:)

    BTW - Thank you for the lovely comment today. Hugs.

  5. You are most certainly far superior to the norm, and don't you forget it!

    If you can eat so wisely on vacation, you can do anything. Most people couldn't do that, so don't worry about the last few pounds. You will get them off, if you chose to.

    It's hard to shake the fat girl. She's always in the shadows. Just ignore her the best you can. She is not really in your pictures, she is in your mind.

    You are a lovely, dedicated woman and you will achieve your goals. So, stick your tongue out at the fat girl, and get the job done. That's what I say.

  6. I hear ya sistar!!! I feel the same, but don't stray or next thing you know you will be back where you started!! just chill out, and relax, you look amazing!! the last pounds are the slowest, but who cares?? ya in a hurry?? we have all the rest of our lives to make friends with this body we live in, smile!! isn't that what you are always telling me?? smile, and relax, you are doing GREAT!!!!

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  8. I think the last few pounds may be the hardest because what does it mean if we reach our goal? What next? If you reach your goal and you still see the "fat girl" then what? If you're afraid you won't be happy when you finish losing weight, then you may never allow yourself to get to your goal. I say look fear in the face and just do it. Give yourself that gift of achieving your goal, you deserve that.