Monday, July 5, 2010

Only in my dreams.

When I dream at night, I am always healthy. Meaning I NEVER have MS. I often am running or hiking, things like that. As I read all my follower's blogs, about their success in doing 5K and marathons, I get a little sad. I wish the day would come that my dreams would be my reality.

I have come so far and yet it seems so far away. Don't get me wrong I am very happy that I can do the things I am doing today, that I was not able to do just a year ago. But my personality is one of never just being happy with the NOW. I am always trying to improve my life in all kinds of areas. That's why I fear I will not be happy after I get to the weight I have set. But I am realizing that happiness comes from inside of ME!

Unfortunately having MS can really put a damper on my dreams. I want to be able to ride my 2 wheel bike or roller skate again. Those are my 2 BIG dreams that I really think I can accomplish. But the reality of ever running a marathon or hiking a mountain are so far in the distance. So for all of you out there that can do these things my hat goes off to you. And for those of you that aren't doing them (and you are able) you need to go do them.

But until then, at least I can dream.
(and stand long enough to shack my bootie at a concert.)


  1. I'm sorry you have MS and for the heartache that must bring... I can't even imagine. I like how you are so positive and encouraging, though. Maybe you can set some of your own amazing goals that ARE attainable... places you want to visit, people you want to meet, a skill you want to learn/teach, etc. You can do hard things!! I'm sure there are incredible dreams out there for you that ARE attainable!

    Thanks for your comment on my blog. I really appreciate you taking the time to comment and for your thoughtful words. :)


  2. I know how much it blows seeing so many others running and hiking and doing the stuff we wish we could. I've actually complained to my dr about his insistence that running would be bad for me. And it's not that I ever liked running to begin with (ohhhh I so did not unless there was a field hockey stick in my hand or a soccer ball at my feet), I just want to be able to if I wanted to. Maybe someday we'll both get there ... and if we don't we're still awesome!

  3. You are an amazing and inspiring woman. Thank you for the reminder that good health should never be taken for granted.

  4. Oh my friend, I am believing for you that you will achieve your dreams!!! You keep on fighting and don't ever give up!! We all have challenges! Some of us can do thing you can't and visa versa. Just keep on trying ~ stretch toward your goal!! Special hugs to you!!!

  5. Thank you for the gentle reminder that if you're able you'd better get out there and do it. One of my closest friends has many years she has felt like a pin cushion to take her meds. She, like you, have come a long way and continue to inspire us!

  6. Oh did I miss that you went to ANOTHER concert...??? As for you limitations, I am right there with ya...but like you I find my own nitch with things...

    Huge Hugs

  7. Lesia-very heartfelt post. I know it isnt the same (not even close) but last year I had this awful experience where something went wrong with my joints. They swelled and were so painful I could barely move(literally).I could not walk, climb stairs, drive and do the things that I regularly did. I had a hard time taking care of the kids, cleaning, cooking, etc. I was exhausted all the time and had a fever with the joint pain. I finally went to the ER (after several useless trips to my regular dr) where they told me I needed a rheumatologist and they couldnt help me(after 7 hours) other than give me pain meds that didnt work a darn. Nonetheless, this went on for a while and they the specialist put me on steroids(for like a month!!!) but it wasnt until recently that they decided I had some kind of reactive arthritis.
    My heart goes out to you and I think you are an amazing person for accomplishing what you are. The vacations look so fun and you are doing so awesome with your weight loss. You have by no means thrown in the towel. You are continuing on to make yourself a better person regardless of what life throws at you. That is an amazing reaction and I commend you! My experience was very eye opening and I think that most people couldnt begin to understand unless they have something happen to them or see it first hand with a loved one. You have come so far and I know you will keep going! YOur future is bright :)


  8. Oh Lesia, I can't imagine how frustrating somethings must be for you. I applaud your positive attitude and your strength to accomplish all that you have already. I am running my first 5K on Saturday. It's a charity run to raise money for our local Guilds School (school for special needs children). I will run this race in honor of you. I will think of you while I run and do a post on it.

  9. I think you have such a zest for life that you do more with your "limitations" than many people (me included) do without having MS or a debilitating condition.

    Really, really admire that bootie shacker in you! I hope you can ride your two-wheeler and roller skate again. I went ice-skating a couple of years ago--after not doing it since high school--and it was fun! (Skated so slow, the biggest danger was being run over by the kids.) I didn't fall, but my ankles the next day, not happy.


  10. Lesia, even MS can't stop you. You may not be climbing a literal mountain in hiking, but... you have climbed MANY mountains this last year! I am so proud of you, and I hope you are too.

  11. The person I have come to know (from this blog and your amazingly supportive comments on mine) is so strong and so inspiring. I know it is not the same as being able to do what you do in your dreams, but IMO you are winning every race with your spirit and attitude.