My Blog Award.

THANK YOU JOY over at Nuggets of Truth gave me this award!!You are too sweet!


Here are the 3 rules:

1. Post who gave you this award. CHECK

2. State 10 things you like. I am going to mix this up a little. Because I am different, I thought why NOT? I thought I would list 10 things that I have noticed that is different since I have lost 62 pounds.

3. Give this award to 10 other bloggers and notify them with a comment.

1~In a high wind storm it blows me over or at least it knocks me off balance.

**So yesterday the wind was really strong and as I was walking to the car a big wind gust came. It made me lose my balance. I started screaming for Clay to come catch me as I was falling backwards. Very scary. I never fell but came really close.

2~Takes less time to shave my legs.

**This morning I set the alarm early as I needed to shave my legs before early morning church. It only took half the amount of time as usual so I could have slept longer. I also cut my shin with the razor cause the bone is so bumpy there now, without all the extra fat. (notice the owie in the picture below)

3~Things fall through my lap now.

**I used to lay my shampoo bottle in my lap (while showering I have to use a shower chair. MS makes it hard to stand that long). Now the bottle falls through my lap. UGH!

4~I can cross my legs and tuck my foot behind my leg. Like a pretzel.

**Like this:(Don't mind the fat thighs. I am trying to cover them with my hands..LOL)

5~Walking is easier.

**Before my foot injury I was walking very well. Some people thought I had been cured from my MS. But now I am not doing as well but it is due to my foot injury. I hope after my surgery I will be back to where I was before.

6~I have a collar bone; I never knew what it was before.

**Laying in bed one night I felt this thing on the neck. I grabbed Clays hand and asked him "What is this? Do I have a growth? Can you feel that?" He just started laughing and said "Oh honey it's just your collar bone!" Very scary.

7~I love shopping for clothes.

**I always hated shopping in the plus size section. I thought the clothes were too old looking and the younger ones were at expensive stores. (like Lane Byrant) Now I can shop ANYWHERE! Totally WICKED!!!!

8~Sitting on a hard surface hurts my butt. (my padding is gone)

**I was sitting on a bench the other night and my butt started hurting. My tail bone was getting sore. So now I have to sit on a cushioned seat. Just call me Princess & the Pea.

9~My weight matches my drivers license now. Actually this week it's less.

**I have always put the wrong weight on my DL. I think it's a girl thing. But now my weight is less than my DL which I find funny...LOL

10~I can touch my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around my legs.

**I really like to curl up in this fetes position while watching TV. Never in my life have I been able to put my feet and butt on the same seat. Clay thinks I am just showing off..LOL

These are not in any order, just ones I feel are deserving. I wanted to give ALL my followers this blog award. Cause I think of you all as a "sweet friend!"

1~Sam at Believe in Yourself.
2~Karla at Daily Thoughts.
3~Jennifer at Weight Loss Journey.
4~Laurie at Feeling Good Inside and Out
5~Vickie at Vickie's Voice.
6~Karen at Waisting Time.
7~Anne at Smaller Fun Pants.
8~Ginie at Diet of 51.
9~Georgia at Georgia Be.
10~Lisa at No more Diet Drama.

Everything in Moderation

So I was deciding to not do my blog anymore. After talking to a few of my followers, who live by me, they have convinced me to just not read so many of them and still do mine. I have built some close relationships through the blog world and I love those of you that always seem to give kind words on my blog. THANK YOU!

Here are some of the reason I was thinking of when I decided not to blog anymore.

~I am over whelmed with trying to read all of my followers blogs.
~After reading some of them I was left with sadness in my heart for them and their struggles.
~Too much drama sometimes too.
~It was hard for me to read about all the runs and exercises, that so many of you are able to do.
~With my OCD personality dis-order I feel I HAVE to comment on EVERY post. Which is taking a lot of time.
~On that same note; I check my blog for comments WAY too much.
~I am NOT your normal dieter; so really just how much is anybody getting from my blog?
~I don't blog for me, which I think is weird. I blog for validation and that's not good.
~There are more reasons but I think this is enough.

So here is what I came up with to fix the problem and make it work as my solution.

~I have cut the number of blogs to follow, down to a manageable number. (I hope)
~I WILL not be commenting on EVERY blog. So if you see a "thumbs up" or a "smile" in the comment box from me know I read it just can't think of anything clever to say.
~I hope that those of you that want to be a closer friend will join me on facebook. That's where I hang out most the time.

Anyway I hope I am doing the right thing here. At our WW meeting I have learned that you need to do things in moderation. Eating is just one of the many things. I want to use the skills I have learned in my daily life and this is a good place to start. If it doesn't work for me this way I can always make a new plan of action. Until then this is the plan.

I lost another .8 this week so guess what that means???? YEP I broke into the 140's! Barely but I did it!!!

Memories:(

So I went to a Skating Rink last night and as I was sitting there feeling sorry for myself. Cause I LOVE skating and it makes me sad to know I will never be able to do that again. I was actually really good at it in my early years. (But that all changed when I heard I had MS) I had my own white skates with pom pom on the toes I think they even had a bell on them. I carried them in a skate case and went every Monday night. Some of the best memories were going skating with my BFF on the Skating Rink Bus. We had so much fun and I miss her and those days.

The music and style of skating has changed since I skated. I just was praying they wouldn't play "Loco-Motion", or "I don't like Spiders and Snakes". I Knew I would not be able to handle that memory. (crying in public is not something I enjoy doing) It is sure hard to even listen to these song but I need to face the music... Yep I am crying right now. It brings back so many great memories! How many of you remember these songs?



Anyway back to my story. Clay decides to order a pizza. I thought he would just get a slice but NO he came back with this HUGE pizza. And he placed on the table right in front of me. Yep he sure did!

I looked for the skinniest slice and ate it. Then I excused myself from the table. I told him "I will return to the table when ALL the pizza is gone, Until then I will be sitting over there."

He smiled and I left. This was the only way I knew I could avoid the temptation. It really wasn't that hard when you remove yourself from it...Emotional eating has never been my issue but I think I could have done it last night. (sniff..sniff)

Praying to the NEW scale.

I am SO sick of the 150's. Can I just tell you that I hate that it is taking forever to get past it. I am SO close. My new scale is so cool. I love that it reads in 1/10 not just in 1/2 pounds.

So Clay took them out of the box and placed it next to my old one. I got on the old one and it read 150.5. Then I got on the new one and it read 141.2. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! I LOVE you NEW scale!!!

Then Clay told me I needed to have it off the carpet in order for it to read right. BUMMER! So I placed it on the floor and stepped back on it. I held my breath and it read 150.1. OH CRAP! I liked the the non-floor reading better. So with that being said I am really ready to see the 140's this week PLEASE...I will make you (the new scale) my BFF...LOL

Dinner with NO guilt?

It was so nice to get dressed up and go out to dinner to celebrate of anniversary. We went to a very nice place and I had a great dinner.

When I ordered my dinner I asked the serving sizes of the meat and then asked for a to go box. I order the petite Filet Mignon and it still was 6 oz. The halibut was just over 3 oz. I asked if they had fat free sour cream and of course they didn't. So I had them put it on the side. I took less than a tsp of both the butter and sour cream. I thought it was the perfect amount. I took these pictures with my cell, which sucks at quality.

This is what I thought I would eat after I cut the portions in half.I wasn't able to finish the baked potato. This is the food I am bringing home.

Oh yeah I had half of this HOT APPLE CRISP WITH ICE CREAM.

Let's see how I can rationalize eating this! Apples=Fruit, ice cream=Dairy, caramel=Sugar which is made from sugar beets and that's a vegetable. That's my story and I am stickin' to it. It was very YUMMY!

The waitress was awesome and she even said that she has never had anyone ask for a to go container right off the bat. She was impressed that I left satisfied and feeling very happy. And so was I...I don't even WANT to know how many points I ate and I did NOT feel guilty at all.

Clay bought me a new bathroom scale that registers in 1/10 of a pound. (Which I ASKED for). He knows I love music and a few weeks ago I mentioned how I miss John Denver and that I don't have any of his CD's. So he got me a double CD of his music plus a DVD of his live concert. It was a GREAT Anniversary. Thanks for all the kind comments on my earlier post.

Happy Anniversary to me!

16 Years ago today I married a wonderful man and what a ride we have had together. Thank you God for bringing him into my screwed up life. Love ya Clay...

2005

2006

2007 (football gameface)

20072007

2007

2008
2008

2009 (On the River boat in Alaska)

2009

2009 (Our Alaska fishing trip on my dads boat. I caught that fish!)2009 (Our helicopper ride over Hoover Dam)

2010

20102010 (Sea World with my new BFF Vickie & Vern)Current

I wish I had more pictures of our early years but that was before the digital camera era and being able to save them on the computer. I have them just all in scrapbooks. As you can see it has been very eventful..

Loss for words

Disclaimer: This post is NOT about anyone but my family and is NOT meant to offend my readers in any way. With that being said I also am NOT a very good writer so bare with me.

I was talking to my oldest daughter and I had a thought. Let me set the story first.

She has always struggled with her weight over her 30 years. Sometimes she self medicated herself with over the counter pills and even illegal drugs to keep her weight down. When she was in her early twenties she was a size 9 and looked good. She has had 6 kids with 3 different dads. She has let her body go over the last year or so. After the babies were born she worked really hard to get back in shape. But the weight didn't have time to adjust before another baby. She only has custody of 2 of them today. I have adopted her oldest, Kayla. (long ugly story)

I have ALWAYS been heavier than her. So when I walked into her apartment the other day, this is what she said; "HOLY CRAP mom, you are way too skinny. You look unhealthy to me." Really?? Cause I don't feel unhealthy. I stewed over her reaction for the day. Then I sent her a text to let her know, I was not happy with her lack of support. We have always been close so it was hurtful to hear that from her.

She confessed that she thought I looked great and it was just her being "jealous". This is the first time I have wore a smaller size than her. She currently is in a size 17. Not huge but too big for her body size.

I offered her to option to go with me to WW. And she said she couldn't afford it. Which brings me to the moral of this post.

She lives well below the poverty level. Her income is at it's lowest with no light at the end of the tunnel. She has a boy toy that will not support her on buying healthy foods. (since they are more money). So I thought how hard it would be to lose weight without money, support and dealing with depression (from being over weight and feeling helpless). Along with many other issues. But at least she has good health.

I am going to break these down a little:

MONEY~ can't afford the healthier foods, can't afford an exercise program or even the home equipment (she knows she can come use mine ANYTIME. But usually doesn't have the gas money to come to my house) and not to mention getting the knowledge from a program. (like a WW membership) It seems the cigarette habit that they both have is killing them financially (that's a whole different story, priorities!). The constant stopping at fast food is not helping either. (she doesn't cook and refuses to learn. Part of her self esteem issues.)

SUPPORT~ I realize how hard this is NOT having someone who can support you on this hard journey. Her boy toy is NOT going to be a support. I will but, it will not be the same, since we don't live under the same roof. I could not have done this without my meetings or the abilities to read blogs (which she doesn't have the means to do).

DEPRESSION~ As most of you know, emotional eating is very REAL, and she has that issue. Having tons of trials over her short life; has caused her a lot of sadness. (not going to go there here. Trust me it's bad.) She is very hard on herself for letting herself go and feels there is no way to get back on track.

A lot of these things can be FIXED if only she wasn't living in poverty. How many hundreds, if not thousand, of people who live in poverty, live their whole life overweight? It breaks my heart to see her like this but I can not control her anymore. She has to REALLY want to change and then maybe I can help by being there for her with emotional support and ideas to make simple meals.

I normally don't write about things that are depressing. But I was hoping that someone out there can offer me a suggestion that can help my daughter. There is much, much more to this story but you get the idea. She is the KING of excuses and drama. I am at a "loss for words" on how to help her. Thanks for your comments ahead of time.

Jazzercise???

I went to my first Jazzercise class this morning. I knew I wasn't going to be able to do A LOT of the moves but I wanted to at least try. There was only 3 of us in the class and the instructor was informed that I needed some special attention.

Out came this shaky little folding chair and she said "You can sit on this or use it to help you balance." I immediately thought "Yeah right like if I was to lose my balance I will just take that chair right down with me!" But not wanting to be a trouble maker, I accepted the offer and I was off to the class. Because of the over heating issues I have, they placed a GREAT BIG floor fan right behind me too.

Yes I was determined but NO matter how much my brain said "JUST MOVE YOUR FEET!" it just didn't happen. By the time I got my foot where it was supposed to be the instructor was like 4 steps ahead of me. That's how the rest of the class went. Moving my arms was a no brainer but the lower half of my body was a joke.

After the class she told me "You did a GREAT job." I wonder how much more they pay her for saying that? Cause I felt like an idiot and I didn't even work up a sweat. My coordination is awful and the fact I am still struggling with my foot injury wasn't any help either.

I am going back Friday to a much bigger class and the instructor today offered to join me since she will not be teaching that one. So I will have a private helper to show me all the things I am doing wrong.

All in all, I enjoyed the class. I think they are going to come up with a better method of support, other than a rick-a-dee of folding chair. At least I hope so. I guess I could go up to the front of the class and use the stage as a hand rail. NOT!!! I surely don't need the whole class watching me trying to do the moves. I think I will remain at the back.

A lot of TNT..

Went and saw James Otto, Trace Adkins & Toby Keith last night. I danced more at this concert than I have at any of them this far. The concert has perfect. The weather was awesome and the acts were FABULOUS!

The gang!

Toby has a GREAT outdoor concert show. He had everything from live fire, fireworks, trucks, streamers and confetti. Toby's show went on for over 2 hours.

I absolutely loved Trace & Toby (my new TNT). I danced every thing that God gave me... See for yourself:

James Otto

Trace Adkins

Trace

Yummy Trace

dancing to Badonkadonk...

Rocking my new jeans.

Toby came out in the back of a truck.

Man he's hot!

Dancing to Toby's song "You shouldn't Kiss me like this"..

For the encore they both came out and sung "American Soldier". Way cool!

If I had to rank this concert I would put it as 1 of the top 5 of the BEST I have EVER seen. And believe me I have seen hundreds. Going to see Brad Paisley in a month. Can't wait to see him and Darius Rucker. That one should rock the house!

The Digital Diet:

4 ways to Cut the Connection

I was watching the local news today and I saw this. It is over 7 minutes long just to let you know ahead of time. It really hit home for me and wondered how many others could relate too.

Take the time if you can and watch this, you wont be sorry.

You would think it was referring to food but its not. Never knew the skills and lessons I am learning with the WW lifestyle is also something I can use for other aspects in my life as well.

1) Slow the techno flow
2) Minimize the temptation
3) Involve another
4) Enjoy the benefits

KEY 1: I am that person who checks my facebook and blog too many times to count in a day. Looking for that high (validation as my hubby calls it). It's time to do some changes and Slow the Techno Flow!

KEY 2: We are going to TURN the computer COMPLETELY off every night at 7 pm and NOT to be turned back on til 7 am.the next morning. My computer takes a long time to boot, so if it is turned all the way off I will not be so tempted to just move the mouse and be back in business.This will minimize the temptation.

KEY 3: Having my husband on board with me will help us keep each accountable in doing this. In other words involve another.

KEY 4: And lastly Enjoy the benefits. We are going to chart all the positive things that have improved since we decided to cut the connection.

No worries I am not going to stop blogging or facebooking. Just going to spend LESS time here and MORE time with my family and other things that I SHOULD be doing (like eating my meals. Remember I don't eat enough and that's been my daily challenge). Wish me luck. I know I will be having withdrawals at first. But it will be for the BEST! Love ya all.

The good, the bad & the ugly:

GOOD~I had a WW loss again. YIPPIE!

BAD~my surgery is really scaring me with the 3 weeks of no weight baring (with MS I can not hop or do crutches) The knee walker will really help but not sure if I can handle not showering and all the trips to the potty in the middle of the night. Not a for sure fix either because of the MS. Could have a MS lesion causing the nerve compression. 50-50 chance of relief. Only will be worse after, if I accidentally step on my foot during the healing process. Then the long term condition will be more painful then it is now. Still going to do it though. End of Sept between football games and after the Brad Paisley concert. (Priorities)

UGLY~I just ate a slice of Chicago Stuffed Pizza from Papa Murphys! Yes I did! And it was YUMMY!!! (Ate it cause I wanted it not for emotional reasons)

Safety Net

I cleaned out my closet last night. It was very emotional. I had a friend come over and she tried on ALL of the things that were in her size. She went home with a HUGE green leaf and lawn bag. So heavy she could barely carry it. I was happy to be able to help her out with new outfits (she just got a new job and needed nice things to wear). She also has kids to buy school clothes for too so money is tight at her home. And like most moms we tend to put ourselves last to buy for.

After she left I just stood in my EMPTY closet and started to cry. Clay came in a gave me a hug and tried to comfort me. But for some reason it didn't help. He asked me if any of the items I gave away were things I could still wear? I said "no" they were too big BUT they were clothes that I just bought a few weeks ago and some I had not even had a chance to wear. I do find comfort in lose fitting clothes too. I counted the empty hangers. I have 103 hangers with nothing on them now.

I am so scared that the smaller size clothes that I am buying now will just be too tight or uncomfortable to wear everyday. You see I was wearing those bigger clothes for some odd reason still. Yes they were baggy and I only wore them around the house not to go out in.

Clay said something that hit me hard. He said I was using those clothes as a "safety net". He might be onto something there. Now I am forced to stay a size 10 or smaller and not a 14. In my mind I still can not wrap around the fact I am in that size. It is going to be a hard couple of days as I have to wear the smaller size, that's all I have in my closet now.

Good bye clothes! I will miss you:(