I cleaned out my closet last night. It was very emotional. I had a friend come over and she tried on ALL of the things that were in her size. She went home with a HUGE green leaf and lawn bag. So heavy she could barely carry it. I was happy to be able to help her out with new outfits (she just got a new job and needed nice things to wear). She also has kids to buy school clothes for too so money is tight at her home. And like most moms we tend to put ourselves last to buy for.
After she left I just stood in my EMPTY closet and started to cry. Clay came in a gave me a hug and tried to comfort me. But for some reason it didn't help. He asked me if any of the items I gave away were things I could still wear? I said "no" they were too big BUT they were clothes that I just bought a few weeks ago and some I had not even had a chance to wear. I do find comfort in lose fitting clothes too. I counted the empty hangers. I have 103 hangers with nothing on them now.
I am so scared that the smaller size clothes that I am buying now will just be too tight or uncomfortable to wear everyday. You see I was wearing those bigger clothes for some odd reason still. Yes they were baggy and I only wore them around the house not to go out in.
Clay said something that hit me hard. He said I was using those clothes as a "safety net". He might be onto something there. Now I am forced to stay a size 10 or smaller and not a 14. In my mind I still can not wrap around the fact I am in that size. It is going to be a hard couple of days as I have to wear the smaller size, that's all I have in my closet now.
I am married to a very patient, loving man, Clay. My four children are the focus of my strength. (Nicole, 30; Jeremy, 29; Brandon, 25 and our adopted daughter, Kayla, 11.) And being a grand mother is the best! I really haven't tried very many weight loss programs. Not being able to exercise made me think I deserved to be fat. But I wanted to look better, feel better so I joined WW in Oct of 2009. My starting weight was 211. Not my heaviest but too big for me. I hope to blog about my journey and life on the WW program. I am not like most of my readers cause I deal with having MS and just got out of a wheel chair for the last 14 years. I hope you become a follower and comments are always welcome. Thank you for reading about me.