I cleaned out my closet last night. It was very emotional. I had a friend come over and she tried on ALL of the things that were in her size. She went home with a HUGE green leaf and lawn bag. So heavy she could barely carry it. I was happy to be able to help her out with new outfits (she just got a new job and needed nice things to wear). She also has kids to buy school clothes for too so money is tight at her home. And like most moms we tend to put ourselves last to buy for.
After she left I just stood in my EMPTY closet and started to cry. Clay came in a gave me a hug and tried to comfort me. But for some reason it didn't help. He asked me if any of the items I gave away were things I could still wear? I said "no" they were too big BUT they were clothes that I just bought a few weeks ago and some I had not even had a chance to wear. I do find comfort in lose fitting clothes too. I counted the empty hangers. I have 103 hangers with nothing on them now.
I am so scared that the smaller size clothes that I am buying now will just be too tight or uncomfortable to wear everyday. You see I was wearing those bigger clothes for some odd reason still. Yes they were baggy and I only wore them around the house not to go out in.
Clay said something that hit me hard. He said I was using those clothes as a "safety net". He might be onto something there. Now I am forced to stay a size 10 or smaller and not a 14. In my mind I still can not wrap around the fact I am in that size. It is going to be a hard couple of days as I have to wear the smaller size, that's all I have in my closet now.
Good bye clothes! I will miss you:(
I know how hard that is. I gave away my clothes to someone who needed them a long time ago. I was happy to help but it was still hard. But now I can't wait to give them away again. That will be a very happy day for me!! I'm so proud of you.
ReplyDeleteAwwww...some of these emotional issues that come up as the weight comes off are just hard...Hugs...
ReplyDeleteThat would be hard for me to do too - and everytime I've done it (giving up a larger size) I've always felt a little sad and a little anxious.
ReplyDeleteSo the good news is, you're normal - I do the same thing too...which actually might mean you're NOT normal. :)
((hugs))
I hear you. I'm SO SCARED that I'll gain my weight back that I'm clinging to clothes that I don't need to. I started off in a Size 24. I now wear a Size 6. I have given away the bigger stuff (size 18, 20, 22, and 24...and a few 16s) but I'm clinging to the "middle stuff" (Sizes 8-14) "just in case." That's crazy talk though. And it takes up so much room in my basement...all those tubs. But clothing is a security blanket....
ReplyDeleteCongrats on letting them go.
Congrats on letting them go. Crying in my closet because I just gave away all my fat clothes is a problem I'd love to have right about now. It's like you're in mourning for that old overweight person. Just remember that you're still the same person, just with cuter smaller clothes!
ReplyDeleteOoh that's hard. But good for you for letting them go. And how awesome to help out your friend too. I bet you had some favorites in there too. But it really is good for you to just release it. To know that you don't need those. Big hug!
ReplyDeleteGreat decision on letting them go. Clay is very wise!! I used to keep my fat clothes "just in case" and you know what....I had to use them. I think now, I will be buying clothes that really fit and I will know within a day or so if I need to watch what I'm doing. It's a plan that I have never tried. I am counting on it working. I threw out all of my fall and winter clothes so now I have to go shopping. Whoo Hoo!
ReplyDeleteFarewell big clothes....
ReplyDeleteWe barely knew ye!
All too well, eh?
Good on ya!
Funny when I was at my heaviest, nothing fit. Everything was too tight. I have lost some weight and now nothing fits, all too big. Somehow I like the problem now more. I can understand how you feel, it's almost like shedding your old self, saying good bye to that heavier person, shw was around for a long time, we knew her well. Knew her quirks but now it's time to accept and embrase this thinner more confident person, a challenge. You will do great!!!Your a fighter!!
ReplyDeleteI know how hard that is! BUT, this is your chance to re-invent yourself--to buy clothing you never thought you'd wear! Treat yourself to once nice pair of stretch pants you can wear on those days you're feeling blah, but concentrate on clothes that fit, are fun and you'll enjoy wearing! :)
ReplyDeleteThe fact that you could get rid of the too big clothes means you've jumped another hurdle--you're not going back to that old body anymore!
CONGRATS! :)
I believe that Clay is right about the clothes being a safety net. I think that most of us who have lost weight, always worry in the back of our minds that we will gain it back and need those "big" clothes. There is also the factor that some of our big clothes are outfits that we really liked and enjoyed wearing. You have jumped another hurdle, as GeorgiaBe said. You did good!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's not the clothes you'll miss... but the security of having them. I heard once that we should do something that is out of our comfort zone every day. That we should make doing the uncomfortable thing the norm. True growth. I am right there with ya... trying to sell my whole closet really (I guess I'm not as giving as you....:) These are my favorites too... the clothes I was saving just "in case" and still wearing. But it's time to say good bye and move on. You look awesome!!
ReplyDelete~Margene
Chin up... You go girl... that was a huge step... sorry I haven't been a better friend.. having a hard time pulling up blogs..
ReplyDeleteYou will adjust to your new size. It just takes time to get new clothes and figure out that they really, truly fit you in that size. No foolin'.
ReplyDeleteHUGS!
Good for you! I always hesitated to get rid of things and look where that got this yo-yo dieter! You are doing the right thing and someday you will fill those hangars with fabulous skinny clothes:)
ReplyDelete