Disclaimer: This post is NOT about anyone but my family and is NOT meant to offend my readers in any way. With that being said I also am NOT a very good writer so bare with me.
I was talking to my oldest daughter and I had a thought. Let me set the story first.
She has always struggled with her weight over her 30 years. Sometimes she self medicated herself with over the counter pills and even illegal drugs to keep her weight down. When she was in her early twenties she was a size 9 and looked good. She has had 6 kids with 3 different dads. She has let her body go over the last year or so. After the babies were born she worked really hard to get back in shape. But the weight didn't have time to adjust before another baby. She only has custody of 2 of them today. I have adopted her oldest, Kayla. (long ugly story)
I have ALWAYS been heavier than her. So when I walked into her apartment the other day, this is what she said; "HOLY CRAP mom, you are way too skinny. You look unhealthy to me." Really?? Cause I don't feel unhealthy. I stewed over her reaction for the day. Then I sent her a text to let her know, I was not happy with her lack of support. We have always been close so it was hurtful to hear that from her.
She confessed that she thought I looked great and it was just her being "jealous". This is the first time I have wore a smaller size than her. She currently is in a size 17. Not huge but too big for her body size.
I offered her to option to go with me to WW. And she said she couldn't afford it. Which brings me to the moral of this post.
She lives well below the poverty level. Her income is at it's lowest with no light at the end of the tunnel. She has a boy toy that will not support her on buying healthy foods. (since they are more money). So I thought how hard it would be to lose weight without money, support and dealing with depression (from being over weight and feeling helpless). Along with many other issues. But at least she has good health.
I am going to break these down a little:
MONEY~ can't afford the healthier foods, can't afford an exercise program or even the home equipment (she knows she can come use mine ANYTIME. But usually doesn't have the gas money to come to my house) and not to mention getting the knowledge from a program. (like a WW membership) It seems the cigarette habit that they both have is killing them financially (that's a whole different story, priorities!). The constant stopping at fast food is not helping either. (she doesn't cook and refuses to learn. Part of her self esteem issues.)
SUPPORT~ I realize how hard this is NOT having someone who can support you on this hard journey. Her boy toy is NOT going to be a support. I will but, it will not be the same, since we don't live under the same roof. I could not have done this without my meetings or the abilities to read blogs (which she doesn't have the means to do).
DEPRESSION~ As most of you know, emotional eating is very REAL, and she has that issue. Having tons of trials over her short life; has caused her a lot of sadness. (not going to go there here. Trust me it's bad.) She is very hard on herself for letting herself go and feels there is no way to get back on track.
A lot of these things can be FIXED if only she wasn't living in poverty. How many hundreds, if not thousand, of people who live in poverty, live their whole life overweight? It breaks my heart to see her like this but I can not control her anymore. She has to REALLY want to change and then maybe I can help by being there for her with emotional support and ideas to make simple meals.
I normally don't write about things that are depressing. But I was hoping that someone out there can offer me a suggestion that can help my daughter. There is much, much more to this story but you get the idea. She is the KING of excuses and drama. I am at a "loss for words" on how to help her. Thanks for your comments ahead of time.
less driving day
1 day ago