Saturday, May 15, 2010

I Wish I'd Said....

So many thoughts going through my head. I once was told years ago that I have a chatter box in my head that NEVER shuts up. Even at night when I sleep (well try to sleep) my thoughts keep going. Like a bad food that you eat right before bed, that upsets your stomach, something that I read or heard before bed, keeps me up with racing thoughts.

Yesterday was a FULL day of reading blogs and comments from the blogs I follow. I know a lot of the blogs I follow write to have some type of ACCOUNTABILITY to their dieting. So I looked up the word and this is what I found: a form of trustworthiness; the trait of being answerable to someone for something or being responsible for one's conduct. Wow; I also want to add what it means to me. I see it as another word for being HONEST with yourself and others. (like not being a liar).

I have a BIG issue with people when they lie. So for that reason I choose NOT to lie or even associate with those who do. So the reason I blog is NOT for ACCOUNTABILITY reasons, that SO many people do. I am NOT calling those who use their blogs for accountability LIARS. Just want to explain why I blog.

When I read and comment on blogs I internalize their information and use it as SUPPORT. I then TRY to respond with a helpful comment. As I am sure so many of you do too. A supporter once said to me "that you blog for yourself, not for other people and who cares how many followers you have, and if they post a comment or not. Your blog is for you." Well I stewed about this for awhile. IT IS ABOUT the followers and comments to ME! See I don't need the accountability that others need. I understand the need that my friends have to receive that accountability though. And I hope I NEVER say anything that would be taken as a non supporter or a weight loss SABOTEUR.

What we say to the ones we care about, love for, or even support needs to be said in a very sensitive way. No one wants to be hurtful on purpose but there are people out there (such as me) who carry what others say close to their heart. Everyone has their own reasons why they blog and they all have their own style.

I take things to the extreme as my husband has told me so many times over the years. It's either ALL or NOTHING with me. I need to get that under control but not quite sure how yet. I am still a "WORK IN PROGRESS". I need the validation I suppose and not quite sure why. Maybe it stems from my childhood of being FAT and feeling like I wasn't important or good enough. I am sure Dr. Phil would have a hay day with me. LOL

I am so thankful for the followers I have and their comments that offer me support and validation. If the readers only knew that their words are a support for me. Maybe they would see that they are also helping others, not just themselves. I think I will continue to write on the behalf of my readers and maybe I will get something out of it for me in the process. So you guys and gals go right head and follow me and comment away.


  1. I read your blog because it inspires me to try to be a stronger person in all areas of my life whether it is dieting or overcoming health problems. I don't expect you to be perfect all the time, I just know that you will be honest. You are a remarkable woman and I am blessed to have you for a friend.

  2. I LIKE YOUR blog...


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  4. I'm totally an all or nothing person. Ridiculously so...

    I think you should blog for whatever reaso you want to.

    I had a very rude commenter awhile back and it was awful. I really don't understand why some people feel like they should say rude things.

    Anyhow...I enjoy your blog...because I enjoy good ol' honest people :)

  5. We really are like sisters! I take everything to extreme. I enjoy your blog and I really appreciate the comments you leave for me. I makes me feel a little more connected in this world when I know there are others sharing and caring. Thanks, Friend.

  6. Hi Lesia,

    I found you over at Lisa's place. I like your blog, too. You look amazing!

    My neighbor/friend has MS, too, so I know a little about it. I admire how she handles the many challenges.

    I will follow! Being a techno-zero, my little icon is the default creepy, shadowy silhouette, plus I can't seem to get rid of an old email address, cookies4spartans. So, anyway, just warning you that it's me.... Genie the techno-zero.

    Stop by and see me sometime, too!

  7. I found your blog by reading a comment you made on another blog. I can't remember which one now...and it was only a few days ago!

    Anyway, I stayed and read and decided to follow because there's something in your words that just struck me as genuine...and I like that in a person. And then you were so sweet to come and read my blog and leave an encouraging comment. I look forward to getting to know you better through our blogs.

  8. Speaking of "I wish I said..."
    I didn't mean to leave any comment on your sweet blog
    that was less than sweet on my part- I apologize!
    I only meant to say that I agree with your ideas of
    accountability and validation.
    Both in our posts, and in our comments.

  9. That's awesome! What a great post! I agree -- in a way, we do blog for the readers as well. I love it! You are such a strong chick!!!

  10. I am also an all or nothing , take things to the extremes kind of person. And that is something I too am working on. I think we have a lot in common. I dont blog for accountability but for support. And I too try to GIVE support. I wish I didnt care what people think, but I do. Always have.
    I read both of your blogs actually (now that I have found them) and enjoy them. Keep up the good work. You look great in your pics. Congrats on your success.


  11. Lesia, Sounds like you've been through it!! I am thankful you shared your story, as I too have had to fight through a lot of health problems and injuries. It's so frustrating! But look you've pressed through, that means I can do it too!! Keep up the great work and keep sharing from your heart. INSPIRATIONAL!!!